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My Mother is very demanding. She is obsessed with money and thinks she can still handle things. I have had to put my life on hold and move in with her. Sometimes I feel like I hate her. I am trying to balance a full time job and deal with my Mom also. I cry a lot, and miss my home. Is this normal?

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Yes, it's normal. Very normal. But you have to start now with making choices, getting help, and setting boundaries or you'll just get sucked in farther. The money thing is tricky. My mother thought she could handle money, too, and ordered $1000 worth of magazine subscriptions (yes that is the right amount of zeros). She bought $4000 hearing aids she didn't need, because her friend got hearing aids. Her hearing loss was very minor, and she never wore them, but she wouldn't give them up in the return time. So we were stuck with that. That could have bought some professional care for her!

Cry. Even feel the hate. But then get some help for yourself if you can't get in a better place mentally, in a decent amount of time. Many caregivers end up needed anti-depressants and/or professional counseling, and that's nothing to be ashamed of.

Don't accept the unearned guilt. Watch out for isolation. Get help handling your mom. You can't do all she wants - please her all the time - and carry a full time job. You may have to re-examine the decision to move in with her. If it just won't work for you, you may have to find a place nearby for you, and get some in-home care for your mother.

Don't let this destroy your own health. Get counseling if necessary. Please stand up for yourself sooner rather than later.

And keep coming back here for support. Just getting it out helps, and there are great people on this site who know what you are going through.
Carol
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