Elderly abusive father; I have tried to keep helping them but I just cant do it anymore.
I have been helping my dad take care of my mother who has Alzheimers for several years. We recently had to put mom in a nursing home. I have had to deal with my dad's violent episodes of mental illness ever since I was a child. Of course I got out of the house as quickly as I got out of High School and luckily I got married to a man that was a complete opposite person than that of my dad.
The last couple of years with me coming back around and putting up with my dad belittling me...scolding me....yelling things at me...just like when I was a child at home. Well.... I have not been doing so well. I have tried to tell him he doesn't respect me and I am not going to put up with his behavior and I don't see anyone else standing at the door rushing to come in to help him...and he's good for a while and and then he starts right back up. I am 58 years old..happily married...lots of friends..close to our children and grandchildren I am a Christian...which is something my dads likes to rub back in my face...and he says I am the problem. I have tried to keep helping them but I just cant do it anymore. I can't ever seem to do anything right in his eyes and he loves to yell and lecture me about anything that happens to come up. If I say one thing, he automatically disagrees with me. If I say left he says right.
His temper is violent and extreme. I think he probably has been mentally ill his whole life and has never and would never get help...he thinks he is fine. I have 3 siblings that have little to nothing to do with him. I am the only one that has ever even tried to help them. The others stay away. He has no friends, no church community or anyone. Especially now that mom's in the home. I just know I can't keep doing what I am doing. I need to stay away from him because I feel my own mental state disintegrating. Help! I haven't even got into my Mothers dementia illness. I love my mother. I want to be around her even with her Alzheimer's and her not knowing me most of the time, but I will not let my dad tear me down any longer. I am done with him.T hanks for any input you all may have.
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Jane
You are enabling him by being available. Stop. If there is no one else, so be it. Inform your siblings that you’re done with Dad. If they don’t step up, well, Dad is on his own. If he has the energy to beat you, he has the energy to care for himself. Let him be before he seriously injures you. Whatever happens to him is up to him.