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Dads little dog (was first my siblings dog) is very old and now incontinent, half blind most likely has cancer and has limited mobility (2 legs dont work well). Dad is away at my siblings until this weekend. The dog has been messing all over the house multiple times a day for the past few weeks. Every morning I clean up poop and major pee even if I get up at 5. We have tried everything. Luckily most of it has been in the kitchen and hallway. Rugs a few times. I have the dog fenced in the kitchen now and we have to jump over baby gates. We let him out every 2 hours. I am now tied to my house.
It was bad enough dealing with the smell of his rotting teeth. Dad wont take him to the vet, we have a few times with major issues. The only reason he is here it was my siblings dog, then given to my mom then mom died and dad kept him for company.
So now I have to be the one to do the deed. My wife says everyday the dog has to go it is ruining our house.
I will call the vet tomorrow. The dog is clearly not well. I dont think it is fair to him either.
Dad will not make the decision anyway.
So do I tell dad when he gets home we had him put down or tell him like when the kids were small "he died in his sleep"?
The dog will not last the week. I am sure he will know. Of course now I have to pay for the vet and the cremation. I had a friend who ground up sleeping pills and fed her small dog that but not sure I want to do that. I have had to put many dogs down, not a fun task.

Settle poor old dog in his basket, with toys and blanket. Take a nice picture. Call the vet. Get it done. Bury dog/cremains under a shrub or flowers or similar. Tell Dad when he gets back, giving him happy picture in frame to keep.

That's what I'd do, anyway.

The last time I had to put someone else's dog to sleep it was my daughter's, and she was away at college, and I called her from the vet's with the vet there and the vet spoke to her. But the difference is that this was an adult child being expected to take responsibility for her pet, and I don't see that a similar lesson would be of similar value to your father.

So although normally I'm in favour of telling the truth and giving an opportunity for meaningful input - not this time. Put the dog's welfare first, then console your father afterwards.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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Putting the dog's welfare first, yes.
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Reply to Sendhelp
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By the time you read this, tgengine, your compassionate deed is done. The dog is out of any pain. Thank you for your kindness.
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Reply to MountainMoose
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Just keep telling the dog what a good dog he is.

Reminds me of those memes about God creating animals -

God creating dogs: "Oh these have turned out great! Yeah, I'm definitely going to want all these back at some point..."

It is fine for grown men to snivel, by the way. One foot in front of the other. Check in later, if you'd like to.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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I took him to the vet, took a while to get a line for his IV. They are compassionate. It is the third dog I was putting down there in 20 years.
He went quickly. I will get the cremains back. I told my girls and my sibling. Of course I got the "did you tell dad or should "we wait until he gets home?" Of course trying to push it off on me. I told her she can tell dad when she sees him......
Not sure what good it is to tell him while he is away. As I told her, the dog took a turn for the worse this week and took him to the vet and the vet reccommended he go. This way I am kind of off the hook.
He is better off, he was in rough shape. Thanks for all the help with the decision. Never easy.
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Reply to tgengine
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Ugh. This is such a difficult situation. My in-laws left their dog with us years ago when they knew Buffy was on very limited time. They more or less expected us to “handle it”. They were not pet people and pushed the responsibility off on us, or me actually.

In his heart of hearts, Dad knows his dog needs to go to the Rainbow Bridge. He may be grateful to you for doing what needed to be done. Many vets nowadays will give you a clay imprint of the dog’s paw. You have my deepest sympathy.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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Thank you for following up with us, tgengine. I am so sorry.
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Reply to MountainMoose
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That's a hard one. Sometime ago I had to put down a dog due to health reasons. Do not do it yourself!

With my dog, I called the city pound and told them she had cancer, & I could no longer pay to keep her & it was inhuman to do so any longer.

They came & got her, took her to their facility & put her down for me. They charged me nothing. I said my goodbye before they took her & did not see her put down.

You might call the city pound to see about the cost, or what they suggest.

Call your father, tell him the Vet said his dog will not last the week due to health, & he will need put down before your Dad returns home. Let your Dad tell the dog goodbye over your speaker phone. Take a pic of the dog, send it to him & keep one for yourself. Then do the hard deed. I know it will be sad for everyone, but it is compassionate to let the dog permanently rest. It is time. My prayers are with you & yours.
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Reply to AtWitsEnd2018
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Tgengine, you have our most heartfelt sympathy. No matter how many times you’ve gone through this, it never gets easier. Don’t let Dad put you on a guilt trip. Keep telling him it was not a decision you enjoyed making, but you HAD to make it. The dog was suffering and that wasn’t fair.

Many hugs to you. The pup is running free and happy at the Rainbow Bridge.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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Thanks all for the kind messages. It was not easy. TBH it was not really my pet but a part of the family non the less. It was not an easy task but done with kindness. Animals are one thing, dogs are another.
I talked with my sibling, she may tell him tomorrow, who knows, if I have to wait until he comes home so be it. Ill check with her before he leaves there and call him if I have to.
She was under the impression dad would be upset as its the last thing connected to my mom but I reminded here how little he valued pets as we were kids, we all did the work with the animals.
The house is quite a bit calmer now. Just me and my dog during the day and my wife home in the evening. Kind of like they way it used to be sorry to day I am enjoying the reprieve.
Thanks again, not eay to put down the little fella but he was not well in any way....... Next time I see my mom I will put his ashes in the ground of her grave along with all the other pets.... One in her casket and 2 in the ground mix.....
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