Approx. 3 years ago I had my mother move from another state to reside with me as she is getting older. She is 77 and takes care of herself, but again, lives with me. The reason I asked her to come live with me is she lost everything financially and wouldn't get help form the state where she previously lived.. She stated many times that she was going to commit suicide. It was just a plea for attention.
At that point I called my older sister and brother for help in what we can do for mom. There was not much help or talking with them because they cant handle her.
I am dealing with a woman who has been given everything. Never really had a job and has been doing photography for 20 + years. This is what makes her happy. And good for her!
I recently purchased a house and told her it was going to be our home. In the interim a boyfriend moved in. Yes, the 3 of us. We all respect each others space and quiet time.
She is driving me insane though. She knows how to push my buttons. I am calm and at times and I get very angry when she is continuously snide. She doesn't want me doing any renovations, such as counter tops in the kitchen because one day she would be cold and I told her to put on a fur coat to keep warm on the one day the toxicity would be strong in the home from the sealer, since I would have the windows open in the home because it gets her off focus from her work(photography) and doesn't want to get sick in the beginning of October.
I painted the house a "white" on the inside and didin't ask her opinion on the color prior to doing it and she was not happy. She didn't want her room painted, so I didn't. Then she would make snide remarks such as the white color is so sterile. Now she wants her room all white!
If I want to redo the counter tops in the kitchen, I have to wait until Spring or summer.
She continuously is unhappy that we are home when we are not at work because we interrupt her doing her photography because it is just to distracting for us to be in the kitchen cooking (although she has her own studio to work in) or gets distracted because the washing machine and dryer are continuously going because we work and wear our clothing and wash it.
These are just a few examples. How can I not allow her to get to me emotionally?