Mom -- 72, lives with me -- was initially diagnosed with Stage 4 metastasized cancer less than two weeks ago. Prognosis of weeks. Total shock. She'd been unwell, but not that unwell... until she just stopped eating and finally let me take her to a doctor after three weeks of ice pops only.
Fast forward, she's in a hospice facility, and I've no clue if she will come home. She says no, they say nothing, and I can't care for her at home anyway. Got a 13 year old here. And that's it. My brother is not going to help care for her in any real way, can't really, and I live with her.
But I can't care for her there either. She expects me every day, won't let them help bathe her - wants me, asks me to bring her stuff each day. She complained to a friend that I seem to have no sense of time, because I don't get there when she wants. I'm a teacher, a public school teacher with a high-need population, and haven't prepared a thing for school yet. And I'm a single parent in a very real way -- kid's dad is in another country. all on me. and she's starting high school, a high pressure, prestigious, high school, one she worked hard to get into, going to be slammed with this right from the get go and all I want to do is be there for my kid... but my mother is dying, right?
Now I went to the docs -- get my own house in order, right? -- and an ekg result didn't come back so hot. Great. Just great. I'm just done. And I'm so pissed off because my mom hadn't seen a doc in 7 years, knew there was something wrong and just... ignored it, left every single thing a hot mess, including a bedroom akin to a hoarder's, papers who knows where, not a penny to her name, all on me.
I am just... done and it has only just started. I feel horrid.