I get the feeling my mom is jealous of my (relative) youth and the good life I have built for myself (which includes working more than 40 hours a week in my small business). She is a self-destructive alcoholic who has trashed her health. She lives down the street from me. I am starting to get the feeling she is taking some pleasure from slowly drowning me in her problems and trying to make my life come apart. Anyone else ever get this feeling from a parent?

I went to school with a woman who seemed to have it all. Pretty, popular, involved. Married her HS sweetheart, children, a business of her own, nice home....but she drinks. I ask myself why? Her life seemed good. I know people who had worse and don't drink. She got on FB one day saying she wished she was dead. Her DIL posted "how much have u had". You said it all when you said "she is a self-distructive alcoholic." She is doing it to herself. Yes, she probably is jealous. You are doing something she never could. Like said, you have to set boundries. She needs help and you aren't it. She has deep seeded problems that need a professional. She needs help ur not equipped to give. She has to want to stop drinking. You need to be the stronger one and tell her what ur willing to do and not do. Tell her she needs to work her own problems out. I agree that u need to go to ALANON meetings. They will give u the tools to deal with Mom.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to JoAnn29

She is sucking the life out of you because you are allowing it and enabling her. You need to establish firm boundaries. Have you tried attending ALANON meetings. That may help you to learn how to deal with a manipulative alcoholic.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to gladimhere

You may be right. Set boundaries with her, but don’t let her suck the good out of your life. You can’t make her change what she does to herself. Set boundaries and don’t be her enabler. It’s all easier said than done, but you need to take care of yourself first.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to anonymous439773

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