Brother is abusing POA. What can I do?

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My brother is POA & will call the police if I call my mom or try to see her. She is 96 years old & has dementia & osteoarthritis. Her mind isn't all there & he coerces her into saying things she normally wouldn't say. He gets angry with her & puts her in the middle of family disputes which really upsets her.


When she first became incapacitated, he wouldn't help saying he didn't have the time, but when she could no longer handle her finances he took over. The first thing he did was remove me as contact person for her doctors........he won't even let them talk to me. He also told them there is a no contact order against me which isn't true. Next, he had my name removed from her checking account that she had our three names on.


The local police are getting fed up since this is a civil matter & they keep telling him that.


By the way, I live across the street from her & he lives about 12 miles away.

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The protective services agency in your city or town is one resource that can assess the circumstances. But when you request help from public agencies, you are opening your family's private problems to scrutiny. You can't control where the case will end up.

Sadly, there are other cases where family members have misused the power in a Power of Attorney document. One case with a surprise ending is here:

https://www.agingcare.com/articles/adult-children-sue-caregiver-176514.htm
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Reply to John L. Roberts
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Jada824 Jul 31, 2018
Thank you for your insight. My youngest son has been living with my mom for 25 years & has helped her tremendously taking care of the lawn, snow removal, doing her laundry, etc.
my mother has fallen 4 times in the past 3 years & my son was the one who found her on the floor twice in one day. She had to be hospitalized after the last fall. My brother has now had my son served with an eviction notice to retaliate against my family because of the on going dispute. My mother wants my son to stay but my brother has taken control.
I've contacted elderly affairs, but they didn't take me seriously & when I last called they said I should get a lawyer. The last police officer that came also told me I should get a lawyer & to pursue this case.
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You need a lawyer. I’d speculate that your brother is misusing mom’s funds. And the police make it very clear, that’s not their concern. So he’s becoming known to the cops and not in a good way.
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Reply to HolidayEnd
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I am going through a similar case as well. First. It's unfortunate love ones would do such a thing. Second. It puts a lot of time and strain on the ones that are trying to give our parents the best care.
The police and APS told me to get guardianship. That will over power the POA. Sorry to say it requires court and paying an attorney.

My prayers are with you.
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PrairieLake Jul 30, 2018
The nursing home where we placed our Dad, told me that lots of families go through probate themselves without an attorney to file for guardianship. We went through an elder care law attorney and it cost $1700. Nursing home said the probate court will walk you through it. It is required that they send a notice to every sibling. The court determines who would be the best guardian. Applying for financial guardianship costs more as you have to be bonded. You don’t have to be bonded if the POA in use now has a box checked that states you don’t.
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Well, I hired a lawyer & he had my brother produce POA papers & I was shocked at what I saw! He had my mother sign new papers making him durable POA with his daughter as secondary if anything happens to him. This signing took place at the end of last summer while my mother had dementia & it's signed & notarized with two witnesses. How can he get away with this?
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