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Which best describes their mobility?
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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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What do I do, and who do I trust? Relatives and friends are already dealing with their own parents. I do not live close to either family or close friends (many of whom have already passed on!!). THANK YOU
Others who answered on here give wonderful advice about assisted living, legal advice on POA, and getting cognitively evaluated by a professional. Just keep in mind that some or all of your mental deterioration could be from lack of stimulation and quite normal in your age group. Definitely get evaluated by a neurologist, but also consider, if you feel you're lacking in it, socializing more with others, doing puzzles, getting physical exercise perhaps at a gym or YMCA and staying hydrated. I love your inquiry on here, especially your "elderly orphan" comment. I too will be an "elderly orphan" if my husband proceeds me in passing on, and he's 8 years older than I and disabled, so those chances are good. You're very self-responsible to have concern about your mental decline, but do also investigate how some tweaks to your lifestyle may make a positive difference. Hugs to you for being so responsible in your thinking.
Look for licensed geriatric care managers and investigate whether that would work for you. Also, in a retirement community, there are already helpers in place who are there for the residents when they need them. An independent living situation in a continuum of care community would ensure that when you're ready for assisted living, then memory care, then a skilled nursing facility, those features would be there for you.
Good planning is the key, so get started! You may be pleasantly surprised at what's available to you.
I would see an Elder Law Attorney and work on using a Licensed Fiduciary to manage finances and bill paying, etc. They work with them in courts when family is non-existant or unable to cope with their elders, and they will have a list of them to interview. You will want to be certain meanwhile that everything is in place for yourself, and especially an advance directive for your MD.
Some ideas to start if you haven’t…an updated medical evaluation that includes cognitive testing, an appointment with an elder care lawyer to go over needed legal documents and the possibility of a fiduciary being appointed, and calling your local Council on Aging for guidance
Move. To elucidate, find a facility with continuous care in a location that is accessible to your social network with housing that will be comfortable for you, and move in now. Do it while you are in complete control and can set up your life. This will allow you to make friends and integrate while you have those skills.
Invest in the appliances and systems you may want (PC with large monitor for streaming movies, sound system, digital library, etc) so that you will be safe and comfortable in an independent living apartment for as long as possible.
Make sure you have an appropriate POA in place, living will, etc. That means finding someone you can trust, younger and in good health, to make decisions when you no longer can (which may not happen).
I have a cousin who made this choice, and it has been easier for him now that his vision has deteriorated to the point where he had to give up driving. He can easily arrange transportation as needed, and it is often provided at no cost (trips to shopping, minor medical care on site).
If you do not have the resources for this type of care, start looking for ways to downsize now and make your life manageable and affordable. This may mean a 1 bedroom or studio apartment in a walkable neighborhood instead of a larger apartment or house and a car. Plan on stopping driving and walking or using public transportation. That will save a lot of money and keep you healthier.
Make new friends after you move. Invite neighbors in for coffee and cookies. Contact your local senior center and join their activities. Limit your TV time. Join groups with similar interests, or join groups who do things you have never done but might like to. These are things that will keep your body and brain healthier and might make you happier too.
One more thing: reach out to relatives who you may not have been in contact with for years, but were close with as children. You never know who may respond positively. In the last three years I have become close again with a single older cousin who was estranged from our entire family for a long time.
This is a wonderful post/question and answers! It's very timely for me as I was all set to try in the last few days to organize my somewhat similar questions. I -- perhaps like a fair number of people here - am also single, and on my own. A little bit younger than the person with the question here, but not by much. I have a couple of specific questions, though, one of which is rather complicated:
-No 1: cost for elder care lawyer. I live in a high cost of living state on the West coast. Any suggestions on what an elder care attorney would charge per hour? I did read some older items in this forum and one question asked the same thing in 2016, and the answer was: $250/per hour! Yikes, I thought.
-No. 2: This is the complicated query. I want to leave anything I may have (which could vary depending on my health + various factors) to a brother who is about 10 years younger. Haven't seen him or communicated with him in close to 15 years and before that, he had a financial guardian who was a nice lawyer, to look after his finances. We are not in the same state now -- in fact very far apart. There are things I have to know before designating him as a beneficiary for any post-mortem estate that may exist upon my death. He has worked all his life but is probably retired now, but also unlikely that he will have much in a pension, although I don't know that. His social security could be quite high given how long he has worked. The thing is: I don't want any inherited funds to go to him that would curtail any special needs money or programs he might be receiving. This could be state-specific.
Complicated, no? I'm going to try to do as much of the "leg work" online or on the phone as I can, but ultimately the designation of him as beneficiary will have to be handled by an attorney, it seems as it will involve a will, 2nd layer of beneficiaries (given his age), etc.
If people want me to start a separate thread on this 2nd complicated question, please say so. Thank you!
Hi Christine, I think that your question might have a better chance of being seen and answered by more people if you create your own question. I'm sorry that I can't help you with this specific query. Good luck!
After your paperwork is completed, you can search for professionals in your area. Here are a couple of national organizations that will list members based on where you live. Aadmm.org for bookeeping and aginglifecare.org for specialy assistance based on your needs. If you assign a POA, check with your local probate clerk. Some states allow you to file this. In case you are suddenly incapacitated in your county and a rehab facility sends an application for Medicaid or a guarduan, that POA document should pop right up.
Decisions to consider - from a healthcare provider point of view: 1 - Make an advanced directive. This is a legal document that states what your wishes are if you can not make decisions for yourself - CPR or no CPR, ventilator (how long and what circumstances), hydration and nutrition if in a prolonged coma...
2 - Do you have somebody that you trust to make decisions for you if you are seriously ill, injured or hospitalized? Hopefully, you just thought of somebody who could be trusted to take care of financial matters and make medical decisions about your care. Talk to this person about being your Healthcare surrogate as well as having Powers of Attorney for financial and medical affairs. Make a notebook for this person that gives them all the information to carry out your day to day and month to month financial dealings. See a lawyer to give him/her Powers of Attorney to act on your behalf when you can not. If not, automate payments as much as possible. Streamline your life to make it easier for a court appointed guardian ad litem to see to your affairs.
3 - Get as physically healthy as possible. Have your doctor evaluate your cognitive abilities and your medical issues. Follow his/her advice on optimal health. If you do have cognitive issues, ask for a referral to a neurologist. Let the neurologist evaluate and treat your cognitive issues. Find out all you can about your diagnoses.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Good planning is the key, so get started! You may be pleasantly surprised at what's available to you.
Invest in the appliances and systems you may want (PC with large monitor for streaming movies, sound system, digital library, etc) so that you will be safe and comfortable in an independent living apartment for as long as possible.
Make sure you have an appropriate POA in place, living will, etc. That means finding someone you can trust, younger and in good health, to make decisions when you no longer can (which may not happen).
I have a cousin who made this choice, and it has been easier for him now that his vision has deteriorated to the point where he had to give up driving. He can easily arrange transportation as needed, and it is often provided at no cost (trips to shopping, minor medical care on site).
If you do not have the resources for this type of care, start looking for ways to downsize now and make your life manageable and affordable. This may mean a 1 bedroom or studio apartment in a walkable neighborhood instead of a larger apartment or house and a car. Plan on stopping driving and walking or using public transportation. That will save a lot of money and keep you healthier.
Make new friends after you move. Invite neighbors in for coffee and cookies. Contact your local senior center and join their activities. Limit your TV time. Join groups with similar interests, or join groups who do things you have never done but might like to. These are things that will keep your body and brain healthier and might make you happier too.
-No 1: cost for elder care lawyer. I live in a high cost of living state on the West coast. Any suggestions on what an elder care attorney would charge per hour? I did read some older items in this forum and one question asked the same thing in 2016, and the answer was: $250/per hour! Yikes, I thought.
-No. 2: This is the complicated query. I want to leave anything I may have (which could vary depending on my health + various factors) to a brother who is about 10 years younger. Haven't seen him or communicated with him in close to 15 years and before that, he had a financial guardian who was a nice lawyer, to look after his finances. We are not in the same state now -- in fact very far apart. There are things I have to know before designating him as a beneficiary for any post-mortem estate that may exist upon my death. He has worked all his life but is probably retired now, but also unlikely that he will have much in a pension, although I don't know that. His social security could be quite high given how long he has worked. The thing is: I don't want any inherited funds to go to him that would curtail any special needs money or programs he might be receiving. This could be state-specific.
Complicated, no? I'm going to try to do as much of the "leg work" online or on the phone as I can, but ultimately the designation of him as beneficiary will have to be handled by an attorney, it seems as it will involve a will, 2nd layer of beneficiaries (given his age), etc.
If people want me to start a separate thread on this 2nd complicated question, please say so. Thank you!
I'm sorry that I can't help you with this specific query. Good luck!
If you assign a POA, check with your local probate clerk. Some states allow you to file this. In case you are suddenly incapacitated in your county and a rehab facility sends an application for Medicaid or a guarduan, that POA document should pop right up.
1 - Make an advanced directive. This is a legal document that states what your wishes are if you can not make decisions for yourself - CPR or no CPR, ventilator (how long and what circumstances), hydration and nutrition if in a prolonged coma...
2 - Do you have somebody that you trust to make decisions for you if you are seriously ill, injured or hospitalized? Hopefully, you just thought of somebody who could be trusted to take care of financial matters and make medical decisions about your care. Talk to this person about being your Healthcare surrogate as well as having Powers of Attorney for financial and medical affairs. Make a notebook for this person that gives them all the information to carry out your day to day and month to month financial dealings. See a lawyer to give him/her Powers of Attorney to act on your behalf when you can not. If not, automate payments as much as possible. Streamline your life to make it easier for a court appointed guardian ad litem to see to your affairs.
3 - Get as physically healthy as possible. Have your doctor evaluate your cognitive abilities and your medical issues. Follow his/her advice on optimal health. If you do have cognitive issues, ask for a referral to a neurologist. Let the neurologist evaluate and treat your cognitive issues. Find out all you can about your diagnoses.
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