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She just passed away last week but we feel there is a lot of money missing from her account. Most of us with the help of some care givers took care of her over the past 5 years.

The thing is. There is common knowledge - what mother said about her will to anyone who was listening, what your father told his girls about the diamond ring - and then there is a signed and witnessed legal instrument. They are not at all the same thing.

I hope this will be peacefully resolved and it will all become clear in time. War over estates is always ugly and never worth it. Take care of yourself.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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POA ends at death, if it was ever used, to begin with.

Now the trustee or executor step in and if the POA was being secretive, it will all come out now. Prepare for the worst, expect the best.

Whatever your mother stated in her legal will is what will go down. Hopefully you all trust the executor.

A lawyer for those of you who are concerned would be a worthwhile investment.

Whatever shakes out---just let it be. There are so many "Mom said I could have x and y" and they are nowhere to be found. I know my mother has promised this same bedroom set to 4 of us. She also has added things to her will, bills for kids who she felt owed the estate something---not legal as they are just scraps of paper. But VERY hurtful as I don't know what I owe her $1500 FOR.

Best of luck. There will be drama, as there always will be.
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Reply to Midkid58
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Thank you for your advice... Her business was very successful and one of my siblings is still carrying on our family business... thats where were afraid some of the mishap has developed. The one that took over the business is the only one whom can open her safe which held hundreds of thousands of CD's along with my fathers ring with 7 diamonds in it that was to go to us daughters to have individual rings made outta it. I have proof of him wearing it on a tv news interview. My mother talked about her will and how she wanted everything to be equal and if anyone fights they are cut outta the will... thats what bothers me everyone knew that. I guess we will just have to wait to see what happens in probate court. I'm new to this... FYI... the above post said 2 1/2 days ... it should read 2 1/2 years.
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Reply to slcrs67
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Right.

The POA does have to answer for his management of your mother's money. But not to you, is the thing, certainly not while your mother was alive and her finances were confidential.

I think you'd better get legal advice. The process for investigating the management of your mother's finances will depend on what grounds you have for enquiry and on what your state's system provides; but there will be a system. Choose your lawyer carefully - you're looking for level-headed practical advice, not some hired character assassin, okay?

And be prepared for some surprises. Your mother had nine children. Her legacy was a long time ago. Her businesses may not all have been successful. Keep an open mind.
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This is a bit late since my mother has just passed away last week but I/We were wondering if her POA had the power to withhold her financial status. In decision making of her care we were concerned on how long her money could maintain her being cared for at home (which was her wishes). There is 9 surviving children with one of the 9 her POA... it seemed like 5 of them knew everything but withheld all information for the other 4 children along with my sister who has passed away durning all of this. We had to fight to get her the help she needed they kept denying she needed help... she was falling ... wondering... getting lost in her vehicle ... not eating or caring for herself ... and falling a lot. I have no idea how her medical POA pulled the wool over her doctors eyes in not seeing how she had Alzheimer's/Dementia. Family meetings for her care were horrible ... name calling ... denial... lies. Finally we got her help 5 hours a day for 2 1/2 days a day while we took 3 - 4 hours of care at night until she was put to bed. We went to them again to say she needed full time care .... again they denied it.... we fought and fought... until she had a stroke and i was able to talk to her Doctor did she receive full time care. 12 hours hired by caregivers and 12 hours from her children with her children providing 24 hours shifts durning the weekends. My mother was very well off... she owned many businesses and homes along with a farm she inherited from her parents. She never spent anything on herself or anyone. She was the best mother I could of asked for... she wanted to save her money for her children. The medical POA and her financial POA are on the other side of the family.... they were denying her full time care. Well through this all they kept her financial affairs to themselves we were never included. Now since she passed they lied saying she never had a will and she had nothing left. We are very concerned they drained her banking account and did some shady business dealings with her properties. Can someone please point me in the direction to go with this ... what legal rights we have. How to prove they deceived her?
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Reply to slcrs67
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Mm. How far back are you going? And how reliable is your information? And does your information include all outgoings as well as capital and income? How much is "a lot"?

To answer your question, the POA was accountable to your mother and to officials who were legally authorised to investigate, and not to anyone else. On your mother's passing - so recent, and I'm very sorry for your loss - the POA instrument ended the same day and the POA sibling is now in the same position as everyone else, with no special responsibilities that I know of to provide you with information.

Especially at a time like this, you will do well to assume that the POA child behaved correctly and that there will, in due course, be an explanation of what happened. Don't guess and don't gossip and don't accuse.* After a decent interval, by all means ask for an accounting; and I hope it will be the case that POA sibling will be happy to provide it. But be tactful: people get upset and irrational when they feel they've done their best and they're being questioned about it, and it often doesn't seem to occur to them that the simplest way to deal with a "rude" question is to answer it.

*Not without incredibly good evidence, anyway. And if it's *that* good, you may want to seek professional legal advice before you do anything.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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Im so sorry for the loss of your mom. It doesn’t help the grieving process when there are thoughts of impropriety and misappropriation flying around. I remember reading here that like the “wash”. Everything comes out in Probate when the POA must submit documents regarding expenses and more or less account for where all the money went. This is the time, in Probate Court with an official present, that you ask questions and demand answers. If you poke and prod for answers now, you’re more or less just spinning your wheels.
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