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Chet1965, the virus shutdown is making hard situations almost unbearable. Normally I would suggest things like contacting social services to see if your mom qualifies for in-home help, or calling your local area's Council on Aging for resources -- but I think they are all either shut down or using a skeleton crew. I would call a nearby church and let them know your situation, that you need just a break for X amount of hours (or whatever you think you need). Just keep calling churches. I'm an elder in a church and when someone (even someone who has never been to our church or is of the same faith) calls us we do everything possible to help them. I wish you relief and peace in your heart during this exhausting time in your life.
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Reply to Geaton777
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This unfortunately does happen.
This sounds repetitive but it is true. You need to take care of YOU before you can care for someone else. You need a life other than caring for your mom.
Is she able to go to a Senior Center? (yeah I know they are all shut now but when things return to "normal"..) or Adult Day Care?
Would moving to Assisted Living be a move she would do?
Can you get caregivers in a few times a week? That would give you a break as well as mom.
Call around find out where there are support groups in your area, I am sure there are plenty. Start with your Senior Center, local Church, even your doctors office may have lists of Support Groups. And there is always the Alzheimer's Association they have lists of groups as well.
If nothing else talk to your doctor about seeing a therapist. Might not be able to see one now but most are doing phone consultations.

If it is safe to leave mom alone for a while get out, go for a walk even if you just take the paper and go sit on a bench for an hour to get away, it will do you a world of good.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Many of us caregivers experience burnout which is where you are at now. Since this has gone on for over a decade, your mom's advanced aging has been slow and insidious similar to watching a lobster in a pot of water coming to a boil. The lobster does not realize that it is being cooked. Two of you cannot live on 1 income. You need to work to accumulate your own retirement. It is time to let go the next time mom gets hospitalized and get her into nursing care. Once released, you can start focusing on yourself and get back on your feet. Accept any job to get started. Sure many people state that they would never do that to family but her illness is hers alone...something with no cure. You are healthy but wasting your life in the process.
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Reply to MACinCT
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