I am my mother's sole cargiver. She is 84 and on hospice. She does have dementia, so my only breaks are when I can get her into the nursing home for 5 days and I get a break. They offer it 1 time a month.
I worry that some will say that it's going to cause her dementia to get worse when I take these breaks. Anyone else have this conundrum?
For both of you! She gets attention from others, and you get a break for your sanity, which you will need if you are to continue being a good caregiver for your mother.
Don't worry about what anyone else thinks! And, if you are worried that you are contributing in some way to her cognitive decline, you are not! You can not stop her dementia from progressing. And, her having this experience is likely good for her mental health. Interactions with others rather than solely isolated with you is not going to hurt her!
I'm so excited because this last week, I finally got hospice care for my husband, whom I've been caring for for 10 years, 24/7 without a break! I met with the hospice social worker, and she will take care of all the arrangements and transportation to get him into a nursing home for 5 days so I can finally breathe in my own home without hearing him constantly yelling out for help!
At this point, I don't even care how the experience will be for him. If they can keep him alive for 5 days before returning him home to me, I can hardly wait for this much needed break!
And your moms dementia will only get worse regardless if she spends time in the nursing facility or not, so just make the best of your breaks and know that once a month respite is not the norm for hospice.
Please take care of yourself.
If someone says the respite facility is bad for her, ask this someone if they feel so strongly, would they step in to care for her 24/7 to give you a break.
It was still a hard decision for us with our dad, so we still researched the places hospice would cover the respite at, almost like we were placing dad, to ease our minds some. And like others have said, ones with dementia are going to continue to get worse with or without respite care. It also gives you a chance to see how she does in a facility if you ever need to place her in the future.
You are a loving caregiver. Taking a 5 day break/rest doesn’t change that. Enjoy your time of rest.
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