Does anyone have a spouse with bipolar disorder?

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My husband is in assisted living for 4 years for Parkinson's & bipolar disorder. I have been in counseling for the past 4 years to learn to disengage myself so that I can take care of myself. I have fibromyalgia with chronic fatigue. Today I am too tired to even get dressed and when I phoned my husband to tell him I wouldn't be able to bring him for a few hours, he cried like a baby. I finally had to hang up on him because he just wouldn't stop begging. He doesn't seem to understand that I have my own health problems that I have to deal with no matter how many times I tell him.
Does anyone out there have a similar problem, and if so, how do you deal with it?

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Hi Maybelle, welcome to AC! By the way, if you want to learn a person's background information (like who they're caregiving for, etc...) just click on their name. When you do, you can see their "profile."

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For those of you ignorant about lithium, I should have clarified that it is lithium carbonate, not the lithium for batteries. Since I drive a new Sonata Hybrid, I also carry a lithium battery in my trunk. Never can be too careful!
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Frustrated, check out narcisstic disorder . The behavior you mentioned is not necessarily BPD. Bi polars have lots of ups and downs as well. When they are UP they often do not feel the need for the meds as they are feeling great and so starts the cycle again.
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I appreciate all the comments. Each and every one of you have been helpful to me. Thank you so much.
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I am really wondering how you get a person who is BP to get the help they need let alone take their meds - regularly, even! I am positive my mother and my oldest daughter are both BP and both have rages, are drama oriented, never fail to be at the center of stirring things up and alienating people from each other. My dad has lived in denial for 61 years and he now is as hopeless as she is. She can be mean as a snake, cry at the drop of a hat, rage, never thinks she is wrong and has a definite victim mentality. My daughter, now 36, is separated from her husband who also bent over backwards to please her and whenever she wanted something that wasn't reasonable she would tell him he wasn't 'being supportive' of her. She was not an indulged and spoiled child and there were consequences as she was growing up. Bot she and my mother are history-rewriters and are filled with viciousness whenever anyone sets a boundary with them or says they are wrong. Yes, I would hate to be a 'sufferer' of BPD myself but I can tell you, sandwiched in between two generations and an ex of a similarly disposed man, others around them suffer more.
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i just dont know what y'all wanna hear. im tripolar and about 89 % drunk. wuzza, wuzza, i didnt do it, nobody saw me and you cant prove a thing. sorry, its the best defense i have..
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Jujubean, I can understand that. It would be scary. I think my siblings hate that I openly admit to my OCD. They have some OCD as well but are self medicating, ahem. , I think it scares them when I have episodes and they can be mean to me about it. Like, just get over it. My brother used to get mad at me for being on meds for it. He would challenge my decisions about needing them. But I found out he is on some now himself. I think it is very scary to see a family member mentally ill for fear of becoming like them especially if there are some signs. But the world is so different now than when your first had his BPD -there still needs to be major work done in the mental health care field but it is better than just a few years ago, I think. Don't let your fear get in the way of help. Knowledge really is power. Thank you for sharing!!!
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@ ferris.
lithium is for batteries. 47 years of crazy doesnt make you an expert in BP..
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My heart goes out to you. My husband, now deceased had BPD, my son has it and so does my granddaughter. There are different types, my loved ones have Type I which is the most devastating. The greatest challenge for me is to remain steady under, what can be, a barrage of angry demands. PBD is caused by an imbalance in neurotransmitters.People with BPD often self medicate with substances such as alcohol and caffeine. The substances don't cause BPD, but they usually make it worse and can lead to addiction and then you have double trouble---what is referred to as a dual diagnosis. You don't have to make excuses for taking care of yourself, and you don't need his permission. He's very sick, and so you must make decisions. After-all if you don't take care of yourself you can't help him. Stay strong. God bless you
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My personal battle although I am the strongest healthiest person in my family and always have been, Is I live in fear as well of becoming as ill as they all had been....I find I do have a certain level of depression I live with but not much manic behavior as I have grown up witnessing...I do good enuf to get by but not well enuf to flourish to my full potential. I do feel the depression is embedded in me genetically from both parents. since caring for ma has factored into a lot of my issues and what I call my caregiver coma.... Thanks for letting me share!!!!
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