How to distill suspiciousness & paranoia & stress of 89 yr. old with early Alzheimers/advanced dementia- short and long term memory affected? 83 yr. old wife cognitively and physically more healthy than husband. Her generation did everything in the home & that is her role. If I am in the house, the husband is uncomfortable/stressed & he relays to his best friend/spouse & this sends her own stress over the top. At this point the family & I are more concerned about the Mom/wife's health which if the work & stress is not reduced will/could result in creating an illness for her.
I was to move in and give help here & there - very difficult for 83 yr. old spouse to ask for help or relinquish a full time load attending to husband & home. She finally let me do the dishes after she prepared a chicken pot pie dinner from scratch. Cognitively she is healthier & underneath knows she cannot continue the same pace & give such quality care to her husband. Can't/won't let go - does not know how to do this.
Anyone with couples experience or websites to check for help? So far researching couples tends to lead to a spouse who passes and one is left alone.