I’m guessing I need to contact an elder attorney but I’m up late thinking about this so I thought I would ask everyone here. My father lives in our guest home. His balance is poor. He had his first major fall and broke 3 ribs. He is starting to get up and about and so far has not developed pneumonia thank God (yet is still refusing to use the walker I gave him). He has dementia, but does not recognize it. He said he would only go to a care home if he were bedridden. Plus my sister is telling me he needs to live out his years in his own home...so convenient to say when she’s not the one he lives with. He also has a hard time managing new medications, and becomes argumentative, telling me the Doctor never gave him such a medication when I know they did.
He is refusing a caregiver (my sister was willing to pay for one temporarily) because he still feels quite capable. I have health problems and am not able to take on extensive care. He is on a limited income so I know he can’t afford full time caregiving anyhow. I have heard you can’t force anyone into a care home. My brother n law thinks he is not ready for one anyhow and says You can’t do anything more for him, he has to want help. Wouldn’t I be accused of neglect? Do I wait for another major fall where he needs rehab and do a hospital dump? My father has a new Doctor. On the day he saw him he was having a better day so I don’t think the Doctor suspected dementia but I didn’t want to bring it up in front of my father, I was dreading the stress. I will call and let the Doctor know the neurologist did diagnose him with dementia, and he’s refusing to see her again, but perhaps he can test him and document it as well. Perhaps he can have him tested to see if he’s incompetent?
I would feel so bad just leaving him over there waiting for something bad to happen. So I’ve really been bending over backwards to help and the stress is causing me to have more seizures. But what do you do when they refuse care? I really had no clue what I was getting myself into by moving him in. I should have read the comments on this forum before making the decision. I thought it would be so easy to keep him here a few years and help him here and there and move him into a home when the need arises. When is it ever that easy on anyone? Right? Never mind all the stress he’s put me through these past 5 years, even if he didn’t mean to.