I am ready to blow up and do not know what to do.

Tacy - when my ex and I divorced he moved back to his native country of Australia.

At first, I was scared to death - having to raise a disabled child alone as I knew I'd never hear from him again. I also felt bad for my son - being completely abandoned by his own father.

It didn't take me long to realize what a blessing this was - and even for my son. No more abuse, no arguments over money, no shared decision making and no worries about how the ex would react to the frustrations of dealing with a child with disabilities.

As you know you did the right thing. While you're at it - cut every single possible tie you have with your ex and his toxic family. You and your son will be the better for it - and as for the ex? His loss. You can't help someone who can't/won't  accept the truth and the responsibility of their part in their own self-destruction.

Venting is good! Glad that you were able to fix this. Well done!

Barb, the caller ID on the phone said restricted so I thought it was the police or the fraud unit calling. I didnt think they were smart enough to block caller ID.

Thanks everyone for the support, i was just so mad Friday because it was after 5, the bank was closed and there was nothing i could do based on timing so i needed to vent.

Hang tough, Tacy.

Proud of you Tacy. So proud of you.

It didn't go over well that they thought they could make you a party to criminal fraud and they were oh so wrong.

Well oh dearie me, did it not. I hope they get ripped new ones. Rage away, dears, rage away.

Tacy, do you have caller ID? Why answer the phone when it's " them"?

Jeannie, I reported the check for her husbands death to the MDHHS back when they asked my mom for her roof invoice to use as a "qualified expense" so she could keep the money. The credit union was open til noon yesterday so I went in and had a a fit. They ended up calling in the manager on her day off. I paid off the boat, filled out fraud paperwork and had them freeze the account until the paperwork is processed which they said could take 48 business hours then the account can be closed. They said people will be in contact. I work in finance/accounting and this shady crap could really screw up my life so I just dont want any part of it.

Needless to say, they went to the ATM yesterday to withdraw money so she could go to the casino and found out what I did. It didnt go over well and I took more verbal abuse.

His mom got a check from a life insurance company. Who died? You've already turned her in for hiding the check from Medicaid. Who did your report this to? You might report to the same agency that the check is now deposited in an account you own jointly with her son and you have nothing to do with it getting there.

Then I think you have done your duty as a concerned citizen. It is up to authorities to take further action.

Do not spend the money! But if you have reported it to the appropriate agency, I don't see how you have any further responsibility for it.

(Can't you and your ex handle the boat loan from separate accounts?)

((((hugs)))) Tacy, I have no answers for you, but I am sending good vibes. That crew has put you through A LOT. This latest curveball is unfair and uncalled-for. Deep breath.....stay strong. Your character is superior to theirs, and you will prevail.

The thing is i was just going to pay the boat off even though there was a payment schedule and usage schedule. Its a 150k boat and less than 11k was owed. My therapist encouraged me to stick to the agreement and not financially bail people out anymore. I am mad at myself right now for listening to that quack. Its just so f'd up because everytime i think its under control some bs just happens that sends me over the edge.

I like ALL the answers!

No, it is fraud pure in simple and i will not be a part of it. After the bs police report my exes brother made and all my my legal fees...no just no. I am not hiding the money. If i didnt have a 500 withdrawl limit, it would be withdrawn and dropped of at the police station or burned. My therapist stopped my anxiety medication because the old hag is supposed to be out of my life so I dont need it even though its one thing after another with her. I blew up at him, his family and her over the phone a few minutes ago. She pulled her fake guilt trip and said she starve herself to deathif she did such a bad thing. I told her that would take to long google a quicker way. Yes, i know it is mean and harsh but i just cant deal with her manipulate sh!t anymore.

Tacy I would call the bank and tell them that an incorrect deposit posted to my account. No trail of her money to your bank to make you part of Medicaid fraud. Tell ex if it shows up again you report to APS. Smells like chance to report you for abuse. Don't ignore with these wackos. Lock the account down with bank. He had to give her bank info. Run!!!!!

I LOVE Rainmom's answer. But I'd do what Jeanne says.

Personally? I'd take it out in the form of a cashiers check made out to mom and mail it to your ex - with a little love note about what you plan to buy should the money reappear in the account. But that's just me.

Tacy, you don't need this kind of stress, do you?! Are you in touch with a therapist. We don't want to see you blow up!

I understand your emotional rage. On a practical level, is there harm in just ignoring that money? Don't spend it. Pretend it is not there. When you and you ex need to use the account, put your money into it as agreed and continue to ignore the insurance money. If Ex wants to treat it as part of his share, well, that is his business, right?