As many on this forum know, I'm 39 and MUST work two jobs to barely get by for myself and take up the slack for Daddy's care. It's TOUGH. My days are filled with fear about Dad's health, resentment from being the only of his many kids who gives a rat's butt, and guilt for the anger and resentment. I've started to notice a distinct pattern lately. Whenever the ALF or Adult Day Center call with an "update" I freak out. Usually, I keep my cell phone on silent (for peace of mind), and to see a missed call from either place and not being able to reach anyone when I return the call literally STOPS. MY. DAY. I work in a job that requires lots of focus and creative energy. Needless to say, this emotional roller coaster KILLS MY CREATIVITY and I am finding that my productivity at work is massively suffering. So... though I appreciate the updates, I'm wondering if I can cut back on the calls--especially the "Daddy can't poop and is agitated" or "Dad had another panic attack" or "Dad won't turn on his A/C which is causing him to overheat, which is affecting his breathing, which is causing his panic attack..." type of calls. I work 45 minutes away and can't do anything from my desk but worry and not work. I just got one of those missed calls and wasted 20 minutes of trying to reach someone only to hear that "Dad's OK." My hands are literally shaking. So, is it wrong for me to feel relief when I'm at work and away from it all? Would it make me look like an insensitive, selfish you-know-what to ask both places to only contact me in the event of a REAL emergency? I just want balance. Off to the ladies room to boo-hoo and wash my face before the staff meeting that I won't be prepared for.