I see a lot of posts here about parents in their 80’s and 90’s and some pushing 100.
They have Alzheimer’s or another Dementia or Parkinsons etc and their children are trying to look after them while keep them in their home or taking them into their own home. Why? How old are you if your parent is this old? Where is your life? A lot of talk about guilt and not upsetting them. Respecting their wishes or they refuse to go. When my mother was placed in full time care because of Alzheimer’s she was only 65. My father was literally killing himself trying to keep her at home. Life was a nightmare and then he expected me and my brother to help him. He wouldn’t even put her in respite. When he had to have day surgery he thought the nurse would watch her for him but I spoke with her doctor who got a spot for her in respite and while she was there I requested another assessment. That was in October and she was in permanent care in the December.
Your parent if psysically fit and with the aid of these life extending wonder drugs will keep going like a freight train while you will be the one who dies first or ends up debilitated. Their generation is living way beyond their actual life expectancy and the body will find ways to shut itself down and if the body is kept going the mind will shut down.
If you have POA and legal guardianship then use it. Let others (whose actual work is to do so) look after them. Why beat yourself up over it. Don’t you have children and grandchildren and friends? Don’t worry what others may think. You won’t go to hell for it and you will become a happier person.
If you or they have the means put your lived one in care, do so.