Grandma's doctor appointment this week resulted in a reclassification of her dementia rating. She is now on the borderline between 5 and 6. Her doctor is recommending 24-hour care, due to rapid weight loss (13 lbs in 2 and 1/2 months), dwindling appetite and thirst, a new symptom of randomly passing out, and excessive sleeping - along with the usual deterioration of logic/reasoning/understanding. There's probably going to be a wide variety of opinion about what to do. My mom and my uncle share POA. My mom wants to looking into a nursing home. My uncle, who still thinks he can "cure" Gramma's dementia by making sure she stays hydrated, will probably try to deny 24 hour care is needed. We are meeting with the doctor (my mom, my uncle and I) on the 31st, so the doctor can be the one to explain things to my uncle. In the meantime, I was thinking it would be good to take a logical look at the options available for 24-hour care, and make a list of the pros/cons associated with each, as well as practical questions that have to be answered like assets, costs, etc.
#1 - nursing home. Would have to explore impact on assets including house and investment accounts.
#2 - 24-hour in home care. Would have to explore cost, hiring staff, contingency plan if staff doesn't show up.
Is there a #3 or #4? What kind of details should we consider? For example, let's say we could afford to keep her in her home. Do the socialization and activities in a nursing home achieve better quality of life outcomes than being basically shut in at home? I'm hoping that looking at everything logically will help us weed through the options to find the one that's best for HER, not our guilty consciences.
I am looking forward to your replies. Going to make a ginormous list to take with us to the doctor's office.