I posted here about 3 weeks ago and I am glad I did. Thanks to everyone that responded. It helps a lot to know that I am not the only one trapped in an impossible situation. Tomorrow I take my mother to her surgery consult appointment. It’s a 45 minute drive to the doctor and from the time I get my mother in the car till we get to the doctor she will talk nonstop about everything that is wrong with her, the medical care she will get and her to do list. Since we are going to “town” I will be expected to look nice and use my manners while I am in the waiting room, so that my behavior doesn’t affect her medical care. My mother is convinced that how she looks and more importantly how I look directly influences what kind of medical care she will get. My mother notices everything about my personal appearance and if she notices anything that is potentially “not right” she will lecture me endlessly. If I have a pimple for example she will needle me about skin care and facial washes and seeing a dermatologist. If my clothes are wrinkled she will lecture me about dry cleaners and ask me if I need to borrow starch or an iron. She will mention this over and over in the span of 30 minutes. I’m in my 50’s and I’ve had hair loss since I was in my 30’s. I was having lunch with my mother in a restaurant one time and she stopped eating and looked at me and loudly exclaimed “In another year or so you will be so bald your whole head will be as oily as your forehead”. Any advice from anyone on how to deal with abusive cracks about personal appearance that go on and on and on with little to no point?????