My mom refuses to go into any kind of care. She would be so much better in a facility. I care for her 24/7 and am burned out. She refuses to go, how do we convince her to go?

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Its awful for you. I don't know how you will convince your mom to enter memory care. In fact, you will never convince them -- because who really wants to go to that? In my case, mom was living alone with little/no support (family all lives far away). We did tons of talking, visiting places, talking it up, etc. and she refused vehemently to leave her home. In the end, she was really struggling and APS had to get involved. They said "she had to hit bottom". It was painful, guilt awful. But we let her struggle and finally she flooded home and they placed her in respite care (memory care) and from there, with doctor signature that she was unsafe to live at home -- she was placed in memory care.

Of course, mom was trying to agree to full time In home care (to stay in her home) --but from experience before we knew that wouldn't work (she fired her caregivers) and family couldn't take her in so she was placed in a wonderful memory care facility.

She thinks its temporary and waits to go back to her home. BUT she is thriving! and particpates in activities, eats well, goes on outings, etc. and we are so relieved. It turned out better than we could've hoped and she is adjusting -- though it has been nearly a year and she still believes it is temporary and she will return home. I let her think that. Telling her this is her "new home" would break her spirit -- so we live the lie. SHe is the happiest and healthiest I've seen her in a long time.

My point. There will be no convincing. Likely you will have to trick her into going for "2 weeks" while your house is getting a repair ....and then let that 2 weeks become a month, become a year...

Thats what I would do and give her time to adjust once there -- don't over-visit or indulge in her crying or begging to come home. When my mom starts about wanting to go home or asking about her house -- I divert her with a walk, snack or other. Sometimes the Director will come over and divert mom so we can get out of the "i want to go home" loop. That's just part of the territory/guilt. But I felt like a new person once mom was placed; the relief was unbelievable and life-changing for me and my family -- to get rid of so much stress, anxiety, guilt.
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