Hard-of-hearing Mother has become rude, complains, questions everything I do, and does not listen to explanations. Any thoughts?
Every day, either in the morning or the evening my mother and I have a tiff over something. I have told myself that I will not engage with her because I don’t want to be sucked into her vortex. For example this evening I gave her the medicine I have given her for the past week, but she has been saying that I am giving her the wrong medicine. It is a white pill, not a blue pill. I offer an explanation but she does not listen and starts off with the wrong medication again. Finally after three or four tries she takes the medicine. Then it is on to another issue. Too much heat is coming out of the vents. I try to explain that it is frigid outside and the heater is working. If she is hot I can open a window. She does not answer and starts up with the heat again. I know that when I go into my mother’s room she is waiting to tell me some problem. She does not want to listen to my explanation, she just wants me to wave my magic wand and make everything okay. I wish I could do that but I can’t. I feel incredibly frustrated listening to problems and then having her get angry at me when I try to explain. I should know she doesn’t want an explanation; she doesn’t care about facts. She wants what she wants and no “back talk” from me. She even makes a sign for me to zip my lips.
She is on a lot of medications, including a pill for depression. She has always been a negative person, but since she has gotten sick she has become very intense. Also she is hard of hearing. I have caregivers attend to her needs seven days a week. I am not cut out to be a caregiver. I don’t have much patience. The way I look at it, I have taken my parents into my home and tried to make it very comfortable for them. I also have a husband who resents all the attention that they get. So I think I am doing my best. I don’t discount her complaints and try to solve problems ASAP, but some things I just can’t fix.