I live with 79 yr old mom border line personality disorder etc. My boyfriend visits up to 2 times a month and my brother who pretty much hates her, only sees her on holidays. I do use the "stuff it" protocol, no one wants to hear it crap. I don't want to be living it. I am receiving a good lump sum of $ in 6 to 8 months. I am done. I am moving out and she can gamble her $ away, get someone in to clean for her, and hire a landscaper. I have done everything possible in the last 5 yrs to help her keep her mountainous house emaculiate etc. I did it out of love and guilt. I promised my dad before he died, even though he knew she has been abusive to me my whole life. It's not worth it, people. If your folks are on the edge, and have financial means, let the cards fall. No amount of money is worth it. I am on meds / support groups, and try to leave as much as I can and she still finds a way to attack me daily.

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They don't want to hear it, because you have taken on the task of caring for your mother. About those promises people make to one dying parent that they (the child) will take care of the other parent...well, your father made a "promise" of sorts, also, to society. Parents are supposed to protect their children, and he never protected you from your mother's abuse, correct? So there is no way you should feel beholden to a promise you made to your father.

Take that lump sum and move out, just as you've stated. Is your mother legally competent? Do you have her POA?
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