My mother, 89, still lives at home on the second floor of a two family home. My partner and I live on the first floor. We reluctantly moved there to care for her a few years ago. She can't get around, can barely walk, has terrible balance and doesn't do much to help herself. We can't afford much help but I do have someone come in 2 hours a day three days a week to bathe her and tidy up just to give myself a break. I dress her and get her meal ready before I go to work. I can only work part time because I can not be gone the whole day which has put me in debt.
I cook, clean, wash, shop, bank and do everything for her since she is housebound. I take care of her the nights that the helper isn't in, bathing, dressing etc. Mom is negative, unappreciative, bad mouths me to everyone and won't do anything to try and help herself. My partner and I want to go visit her family for a quick holiday visit (no more than 6 hours) this weekend and mom is having a fit. She doesn't want me to go. She feels she needs me home even though I would be downstairs in my apartment. I told her how it isn't any different than the 5 or 6 hours I got to work. She says it is and now she isn't talking to us. I wanted to ask her aide to come for a few hours that day but mom says no, she doesn't want to deal with her. I am at the end of my rope. I feel trapped, tired, angry and guilty because of how I feel. All I do is care for her or work both in and out of the home in order to try and pay my bills. I am guessing this is normal situation for caregivers but how do you deal with it. I just feel like I need a break.