I feel like nothing is going in my favor lately. I want to get a representative payee for my parents, but every payee service in town is not accepting new clients. My dad needs in-home help but I cannot get DSS to qualify him as needing aid because he can only get to a doctor on his "good" days. Any time I call a government agency for help or assistance, I get a voicemail, an unhelpful person, or no call back. My mom and dad aren't doing well because they're cooped up, but they aren't well enough to work or drive so I don't know where else to put them. They've been in facilities before but always left complaining about how miserable they were, and now my dad is begging to go back to an assisted living, but nowhere is open and his money is almost gone. Medicaid was denied. I'm 21 and dealing with this alone despite many aunts and uncles. I have never ever felt more hopeless and alone. I don't have money for a lawyer. How do you all deal with it?? This is awful. I'm at the point I wish they would just peacefully pass away because it would put them and me out of our misery. Who thinks that!? I even pay the life insurance myself because I know the money will be nice and I don't think my dad will live another few years.... so morbid.

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Been there, still there most of the time. I understand the frustration of so many issues, so few decisions and so many obstacles. That's when I get out the gardening magazines, an absorbing book, and listen to music.

So, first try to put some separation between yourself and the issues, and do whatever relaxes you. Bake, go for a walk, exercise, watch an absorbing movie, draw or paint, whatever redirects your mint.

Then make a list of priorities, with the pros and cons for each. I often find it difficult to prioritize because so many are equally important. If that happens, just list them and wait until your mind is clearer.

Also list what you've done, what the issues are, and possible solutions if you can think of them.

When your mind becomes overloaded, take a break.

Some other possible sources of information and/or guidance:

Senior centers, especially in the more upscale communities. County offices; some states have elder specific agencies. Michigan has an Elder Law of Michigan which provides guidance (including an occasional free legal opinion) on various issues.

Is your father a veteran? If so, call a local county or state VA office, do some online research and start getting acquainted with VA services; get him enrolled for health care, ask to see a social worker associated with his care team, and prepare to get a lot information on how they can help, including for caregivers.

Since they're essentially housebound, what can you do in the home to cheer them up and keep them occupied? Do they like music? It's a great therapy; just create some down time, put on a CD and everyone can have a time out.

What else have they enjoyed in their younger years, and how can you adapt that to their current lives?
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I see you're dealing with both dementia and strokes with your folks. I am so sorry you have to deal with this! 
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You're entirely too young to be dealing with this all alone. It's hard enough for those of us who've already been thru some of the other hard stuff life brings. Can you contact your local council on aging to see if they can be assessed in their home and what their options are? (I understand about the dr only seeing your dad on 'good' days. It was like that for me more times than I can count, and I often felt foolish telling them what I'd been seeing.)
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