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My mother was killed 3/9/15 and I was her Aid and Attendant paid by Veteran Admin and I was on the bank acct as the payee and she was noted as dementia so she could not do anything with the acct. The bank froze the acct and will not let me have the money, said I have to provide the notice of successor. I am the custodian of the acct. How can I get this lifted to close the acct?

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Being custodian and successor are very different things. Custodian ends on Death. There would have to be a will or something for you to inherit. If there wasn't anything designating the heirs, a court proceeding would be necessary.
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