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My parents moved in with my husband, my children, and myself last year, due to my father having heart failure, stage 2 kidney failure, neuropathy in his feet and legs, and type II diabetes (which he doesn't control) and my mother having some mild memory issues and glaucoma. My father had fallen several times in their house, and we thought we could help them stabilize by moving them in with us. Once they moved in, my mother stablized, but my father continued to be unsteady on his walker (he hadn't had a walker six months prior), the last fall landed him in rehab where he got CDiff (bad infection) and his entire rehab was spent in the bed (although the facility told insurance that he was rehabbing). He was bedridden with a frozen shoulder and now was in diapers (24/7), needed a catheter (due to swollen prostate which surgery didn't help), but they told us he was "fine to go home". My mother panicked, because my husband and I work, and my children are 2 1/2 and 1. When we were told this, my mother's memory issues started to get bad (can't manage her finances or meds) and then she also became depressed (my father had been verbally abusive to her, we later learned). She tore her meniscus catching him the last time he fell. She is terrified of him coming home to our house. They qualify financially for Medicaid, but we were told since he has his mind, he doesn't qualify medically for Medicaid, and we either have to private pay until they have no money at all left or he needs to "go home" where he will be "fine" with a nurse that will come in two hours a day to "help". Having had a "nurse" (not a real LVN or RN, but a home health aide) come in the first two times he fell, we know that he will be non-complaint with therapy. I personally am freaked out, because I can't afford to quit working, nor can my husband (to take care of dad), and my mother is so depressed she is no longer leaving her room (we are getting her help for depression right now) and can't care for my dad (lifting him to his wheelchair, pushing him around the house, changing his catheter or diaper or dressing him), none of which he can do for himself. Before we got him in this facility, we would not eat or drink, his sugars were not stable, he was mean (depressed) to everyone, but he was with us at home. While we miss him at home (a ton!), we have seen that this facility got him to take anti-depression medication which also helped him gain weight and his sugars are stable. However, he cannot do anything for himself but feed himself. Is there anything we can do to help him qualify medically for Medicaid so he can stay? My parents' money is quickly dwindling. I am scared for us all as to what will happen if we bring him home.

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You have to be addimant that you cannot take your Dad home.
1. Mom can no longer care for him
2. You have two small children
3. You must work

I think they are all good reasons. Please, don't take your Dad home. It will be easier to get in a home from going directly from the rehab. Your Dad needs more care than you can give him. You need to have the energy to care for two toddlers. They need ur attention.
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I wouldn't listen to a nurse that works for a facility that out right lied to insurance. Maybe they say that because he got worse under their care and there may be regulations or something that they will get in trouble, c-diff is spread when hygiene by caregivers is not used, this could be their concern, changing diapers without hand washing, sanitizers do not work, they should be trained in this. Obviously they are putting vulnerable people at huge risk.

File a complaint, get him outta there and talk to Adult Protective Services, they can give you the local resources for your area.

From what you state your dad's condition is, yes, he would qualify for Medicaid, having dementia is not the only qualifier. If it was we would not have all the children that are on it covered.
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The nurse at the facility said he was fine mentally, so he wouldn't qualify for Medicaid. He said Medicaid would say he is fine to go home and have a nurse come two hours a day to care for him and he'll be fine.
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Who told you that he didn't qualify medically for Medicaid?

Agree with Eyerishlass, talk to the Social Worker at the NH.
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Contact the social worker at your dad's facility and let her guide you on how to get your dad qualified for Medicaid. I know how Medicaid worked for my dad but that was after my mom died. It's a different situation when there is a spouse involved. When I applied on behalf of my dad it took quite a long time to get him approved but once he was approved his Medicaid covered his expenses back from the day we applied. In other words, Medicaid paid retroactively.

The social worker at the facility will help you navigate the system.
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