So much has happened since I became a member on this site in 2009! My mother has since passed away on October 28, 2015.
In November 2014, she was placed on home hospice care for failure to thrive, but began to come around, so she was discharged in January (2015). My mother began to realize that I was the one giving her care all this time with very little help. She titled the house in both of our names as joint tenants with right of survivorship. By that time she was completely bedridden, and I became her sole caregiver. My brother hardly visited (just twice this year), and my sister would come about once a month or so.
My mother thrived for awhile, but around the end of the summer began to steadily decline as was expected by her doctor. This was no surprise. She developed a bedsore at the end of September requiring home health care, and that is when my nightmare began. The home health nurse reported me to State of Connecticut Social Services. The caseworker arrived unannounced on a Monday morning when I was at work. My 21-year old daughter was at home and very frightened to let him in. He threatened to call the police, so of course she let him in. He stated I did not take good care of her (mind you, she got the bedsore after I provided eight months of care on my own, the only bedsore she ever got), that she wasn't eating (she wouldn't eat) and that I was neglectful. He called my brother and sister for a "family conference". He started to force my mother into Medicaid proceedings , with the full backing of my brother and sister. I believe they saw it as an opportunity to jump on board because the caseworker wanted to go to court to reverse the title of the house back to my mother.
After two weeks of harassment, unscheduled visits, and threatening phone calls from the caseworker, I contacted an attorney who was a lifesaver.
Three weeks after this all started, my mother passed peacefully. My youngest daughter and I were with her. My sister came by the day before, my brother never came. My brother would not talk to me or my daughter at the wake or burial. He has called me once since then to find out if there is "anything" that he is entitled to. I calmly explained there are no assets except the house, which passed to me by right of survivorship. I explained that both of our parents had devastating illnesses which depleted their assets. I also explained that I cared for them which limited the hours I could work and had a loss of income.
As of this date, I am getting back into living again. I have gone back to my community involvement, I am looking for another part time job to supplement my hours, and I'm trying to decide if I want to stay in this house or sell it and relocate. The positive side to that is the house is mortgage free. The negatives are the hurtful behaviors of my brother and sister. But even if I do relocate, those feelings will still be there. I have a lot to think about. I do talk to my sister and even spent Thanksgiving with her and her husband and in-laws, but I really feel that my brother is very bitter and wants nothing to do with me.
I'm still adjusting to the fact that I don't have to rush home after work anymore or that I actually have free time.
This Christmas will be a very quiet one. My two older children live in Seattle and I'll spend it with my youngest daughter, our two dogs, and a longtime friend. I'm good with that--it will be peaceful.