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My mother does not talk. She is not interested in going outside, or participating in anything, not even music. I do not want to bring up anything that might hurt he if she connected to them. Her home, her pet, her husband who passed. She hates questions, maybe because they confuse her. Poor Mommy, how awful this disease is. Any suggestions? I tell her I love her all the time, past that I sit like a log, lost for the right words, that never come.

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Why not read a book to her.
Read the newspaper.
Just talk about what is going on in your life.
Interested in going out or not it might be nice just to say.."Mom I need to go for a walk, let's go together"..get her into a wheelchair if necessary and go for a walk. If she is in a facility walk the grounds outside or even down the halls if it is cold or raining.
And last but not least.
It is your presence that can comfort her. Just being there is a help. Even if all you do is read to yourself.
Hold hands. Give her a hand rub, back rub.
Touch is so important and many people loose that. I can feel my husband relax when I rub his back, his breathing changes, the noises he makes change. It is fascinating that a back rub can do as much as a drug.
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Talk about *anything*. The weather, what's on tv, the flowers or trees outside the window....just talk. Tell her what's going on in your life, and DO ask her questions, even if she doesn't answer. If she becomes agitated when you talk with her, then maybe silence IS the right approach, but try to give her some mental and social interaction first to see how it goes. Maybe if you try to bring her out of her shell, you can get her to start participating a bit more.
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Around Mother's Day this year, my mom quit talking, before that it wasn't much but she'd always say 'I love you too (insert a name)' It was extremely hard for us when almost overnight she stopped saying anything at all. She ended up having a bad fever & UTI that took over a month and 4 rounds of antibiotics to take care of. She's never fully bounced back from that and still isn't talking. I realized by some MINOR reactions that she understanding a lot of what's going on so I decided to try simple things to connect with her. My mom was an elementary school teacher and very loving woman. So I decided to start giving her a little kiss on the cheek and saying 'Can you give me some sugar?' Then I'll put my cheek VERY close to her lips and wait (bc she does everything in super slow motion) After several seconds I'll feel the faintest kiss or hear a little kiss sound. It's the sweetest thing! It took a few times before she did it but since starting this, she's had several times of trying to talk. I keep questions simple also like do you need to use the potty? When she has responded it's usually her saying 'I need to
Go to the bathroom' rather than just yes. Or sometimes we try giving her 2 options like do you want crackers or fruit. She doesn't answer 90% of the time but we keep trying. Also, my dad is better at doing this than I am, but when he comes home from work, he just tells her about his day like he normally would. He never gets much response but since it seems she's aware of things, he still
Tries to talk to her like his wife as much as possible (although it's very hard sometimes) Last thing is we try not to overdo it either. When she was talking, if someone talked loudly or too much, she would say, you talk a lot :)
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Does your mom converse at all? I am not normally a chatty person so I find it so difficult trying to coax a response from my mom, mostly it feels as though I am talking to myself. In desperation I did a google search for "conversation starters" and got some good ideas like: what is your favourite ice cream, meal, season? did you have a pet when you were little? did you like school, what was your favourite subject? what kind of games did you play? Try googling it yourself, there are many more!
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My mom wasn't too verbal either but I could see the difference in her eyes when I would sit beside and just talk. I never had a silent thought. Try not to ask questions or ask do you remember. Could always use "I remember when we were kids...", etc. I think my mom just wanted to feel included and normal. I would soak her fingers and polish her nails. Sometimes it took 2 or 3 days to finish. Made sure people commented about her nails which made her smile. I would put TV shows on that i could talk to her while watching (nothing like you would miss the storyline while talking). My mom and I would faithfully watch The Long Island Medium. I would always jokingly say if I ever get to see Theresa you better come visit me. About a year after my mom passed i had the opportunity to join a group reading with a medium and my mom came through. This was proof to me that although she was not verbal, she did get some of the things I talked about. Doesn't really matter what you do, it just matters that you are there. Best wishes 🙏😇
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Some of you have said asking a lot of questions is stressful for your loved one, I get that. I have found that even when I get no response from my mom I can use the conversation starters to talk about myself. For example: What kind of games did you play when you were in school mom? When I was little we used to play....
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Try bringing some pictures like when you were little or a trip. Ask questions that only require yes or no. When you talk to her look in her eyes at eye level. She may not be hearing well, speak in slow distinct short sentences. Just hold her hand or put your arm around her. You were once her little boy & she did those things for you. You are a caring person. God bless you.
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I just retread sorry you are a girl. My alz husband will do dot to dot by hisself for hours. He also likes puzzles w big pieces. Try w 48 pc puzzle. What did she like to do before? Check in thrift store toy dept for something.
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The newspaper suggestion is good. Magazines too. Maybe set aside anything you want to browse, like a catalog or AAA magazine, to take with you to go over with Mom. That way you're accomplishing something you want to do too. I never had the chance to read the Harry Potter books so am starting with my son's Year 1 today and hope to read a few pages with my Mom daily. If it's too stimulating or the images seem to disturb her we'll switch to something else. Your mere presence is probably a great comfort to your Mom. I used to push my Mom in her wheelchair all around the halls of her Assisted Living to check out the wreaths and seasonal decorations on residents' apartment doors. Good luck -- prayers and strength to you.
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I talk about the weather, my day, my husband. I took up knitting so I would have something to do for the daily hour or two that I give to my mother. We take wheelchair walks up the block and back, which she loves. When my brother visits he brings his art supplies and draws, trying to get her to help, like smearing/blending the chalk on the paper. She still talks, but mostly makes no sense. Just your presense helps. That is why I go daily. Not everyone can do that. Do the best you can, learn, and do not beat yourself up. We are all trying to cope. It is an unfair disease.
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