What should i do when my mom "can't stand getting old" and takes it out on me or cannot remember something i told her two seconds ago??

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My MIL was one of those people who was 90, when she was 45. She acted old, talked "old" felt "old" and acted like she was on death's door ---well, I guess long before I came into the picture.

Some people just are that way! My MIL refuses to engage in any kind of activitiems has ONE friend, never wants to be with any of the family expect my DIL'S. She's acted old and crabby since forever. She got whiplash about 40 years ago and the dr said she had the "neck of an 80 yo". When she did turn 80, my DH said "hey, you're the same age as your neck now!" She was not amused.

I have been surprised to find that aging brings some sucky moments, I have arthritis, and everything hurts, but sheesh, I have hands! I can't remember everything, but that means I am forgetting bad stuff too. I find myself to be more forgiving, more patient, partly due to just being tired. I have plenty of time to listen to my grandkids ramble on and on and I am highly amused by them. We finally have money to "play with" and I DO!

You can look at it any way you want, but NOBODY gets younger. I'd like a nickel for every time my MIL looked at me and said I wasn't acting my age. Exactly how DOES a 61 yo act? Can I NOT jump on the trampoline if I want to?

I love that at age 88 she is still telling me to act my age.

Nope, never gonna happen. I tell my MIL, "You're not getting younger, neither is anybody else, you're not that special!" and go on about my life.
Helpful Answer (2)

Veronica91, that was priceless.

At one company I worked for, one of the Receptionists was in her 80's. Once in awhile she would get something mixed up, but she would reply that being in her 80's she was allowed to do that !! LOL
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Veronica, you are priceless.. thank you!!
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Agree with FF getting old is no fun.
That doesn't mean you can't enjoy it.
Think of all the wonderful people who help out feeble old ladies. M''aam can I help you with that?
Young lady that looks too heavy for you?
Would you like carry ou?
Can I load the car for you?
Service clerk at the repair shop that has your car parked so you don't have to get wet.
Then you can say anything you like because you are old.
Doesn't matter what you do in town where everyone knows you because your reputation doesn't matter anymore.
The receptionist at the Drs office smiles and addresses you by name.
Other shoppers jump aside as you race round the store in one of their electric carts. They even have a little horn on them..
My lawyer helped me find soup in the store. I am sure she doesn't want to upset me because my previous two lawyers became my patients and died (No I didn't kill them I had known them both for years)
I don't have to take a bath if I don't want to.
My cleaner worries more about the dust than I do.
I have installed a stair lift to get up and down to the basement..
The only regret is that i should have married a much younger man because the one I have now is wearing out too.
Yes getting old can be fun. You know so much more than you used to. Enjoy
Helpful Answer (4)

Nan, my Mom was that way, heaven forbid any doctor that told her an ailment was "age related". Oh how my Mom hated to hear that. And if the doctor was a woman, Mom later would say "she doesn't know what she is talking about".

Well, getting old isn't easy. Think about all the things that happen. An elder can no longer drive to the mall on their own to meet friends for lunch.... those friends probably have moved or passed away.... clothes don't fit right.... you got aches and pains.... food taste funny because your taste buds are disappearing.... darn it, you can't hear or see like you did when younger.... and you can't remember squat.

My Dad accepted getting older, but he had his grumbling moments. For him if he complained that he couldn't remember something, I would chime in saying I was having the same problem, too. Then we would joke about it, making him feel so much better. Same with aches and pains. Dad and I would sound like two old people sitting on a front porch in rocking chairs comparing our ailments. Well, I was a senior myself :)

Each person takes getting older differently. Some think life is over when they are 55... other won't think that way until they are 95.

Nan, what is the easiest thing to do is to agree with your Mom, even if you don't. It's just not worth a huge debate.
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