Does nothing when her adopted 6 yr old child is sexually abused by a close relative? Instead she buries it because she wants to project to the outside world that she has the ‘perfect’ family. No love, hugs, care, reassurance or support were shown at all to the child. The ‘Mother’ then spends years putting the child down and making the child’s life a misery and hell, because the child ruined her projection - the child, is then made to pay.
References the child’s actual birth mother as a ‘Slag’ to the child when the child is 12 yrs old
What kind of a mother waits until the grown child is aged 50 yrs old before asking whether the sexual abuse by the close relative involved penetration, even though the 6 yr old child had clearly told her the facts as and when they happened each time. It was bad, but did not involve penetration - why did the ‘Mother’ not listen the first time around?
A few years ago, the 'Mother' causes physical damage to her adult child, then aged 54 yrs, through an ‘accident’ of the mother's making, and again dismisses the damage that she’s done, denies responsibility and does absolutely nothing to try and put things right, or redeem herself - two major instances impacting and damaging in the child's life, but yet again, it’s all buried and never acknowledged by the ‘Mother’. Strangely, the child is always expected to show respect and support towards the ‘Mother’, as the ‘Mother’ always commands it.
Last year, the 'Mother' decides to bring up the topic of the abuse again when the grown child is 58 yrs old and then feigns that she wasn’t aware of the extent of the abuse and only then becomes upset when she finds out that psychologists over the years were very alarmed at how she’d dealt with it. The ‘Mother’ again, is only concerned as to how this looks on her.
What kind of a Mother is prepared to tell lies and paint a false distorted picture of her child to anyone that will listen 'her supporters', so that she herself, and only she, comes out of it looking good, or twists reality and pretends to actually be the victim of any wrongdoing. Even worse, makes out that there’s something not quite right with the child/adult child (Fact: throughout the years, professional diagnosis has confirmed that there is nothing wrong with the adult child, it's a case of what's happened to them that is the problem, and as a result of this, the adult child had developed very strong tolerance levels for bad and inappropriate behaviour)
I am that adult child, aged 58 yrs, and I am still suffering. Reaching out to anyone who can give any help or advice please as I am at a total loss as to how to deal with that kind of a mother. I feel very broken and can no longer keep fixing the damage she’s done and continues to do. Low contact has helped over many years (I've lived away from her since I was 18 yrs old, 20 miles away thank goodness and I work full time), but it’s reached the point where I can no longer keep putting on a false brave face and pretend to keep playing the role of dutiful daughter, as her whole persona just sickens me. If I'm honest, I feel I am at a crossroads and frozen, as I'm concerned as to what serious damage she's next got lined up for me if I don't toe the line, her line.