Nasty mother, what can I do?

Stop calling.

Stop participating, stop listening to it at all. You’re an adult, free to decide what you’ll let in your life, fill it with positive people and not nastiness

No one has ever stood up to her abuse. Its time you did. 77 is not that old. The next time she starts yelling, you tell her "Sorry Mom but I am not putting up with your screaming and negativity anymore. I am hanging up now, feel free to call when you can respect me". Tell ur kids to do the same thing. Just because she is grandmom they do not have to put up with it. Hang up, walk away. Respect breeds respect. It goes both ways.

If you can quietly talk to her, you may want to tell her she is going to die a lonely old lady if she doesn't change. You, ur children and really no one else needs to put up with her negativity. If things seem to have gotten worse, maybe Mom is in need of a good physical. Labs to check her thyroid, potassium, her sugar. When people don't feel well they lash out too. She could be showing early signs of Dementia too.

Stay away from her.

You are not bound by any law to put yourself in the path of oncoming abuse.

77 is NOT old, and she could live for 20 more years---I haven't seen nor talked to my mother in 3 months and I won't go see her until I feel like it. She doesn't 'miss' me, nor does she care.

Let her behavior serve as a cautionary tale--don't be like her.

Are you taking care her? Has she been this way for as long as you can remember? Was she EVER different?

What aspects of CARE does she require? Is she living in her own home? Does she drive? Does she pay her own bills? Does she shop for her needs, and take care of her own home? Does she have relationships outside of the family?

Does she have any diagnosed physical or cognitive problems?

Do you consider it your obligation to listen to her? If so, WHY?

IF NOT, STOP.

Don't call?

Lisa, I hope your not living with your mother. If you are, move out. Your mother could easily live to be 100. My mother is 96 years old. She lives alone in her 2 story house, she is a hoarder, a gambling addict. My mother has gotten worse this past year. Screams on the phone. Yells at me in person and then says ELDER ABUSE on ME!! I stay away. I call her or go see her once a week and that’s it. She’s not mean to her grandson. He goes to her house twice a week to bring in the mail and take out the garbage.

Sounds like she is bored