Do I let go? There is nothing I can do about my Aunt who can't call my Mom.

Even though your mother has dementia she has to know full well the lifelong dynamics surrounding her sister and her family, when she brings it up I would just tell her truthfully that her sister is involved in more family drama and hasn't been in touch. Maybe helping her to send a card or note will satisfy her need to feel connected.(Don't overthink, it doesn't matter if it is ever received or reciprocated)

I understand that you live in a rural area, but is it possible for you to go around to where you mother’s sister is now living (that seems the easiest relationship in such a tangled web)? Could you call in, and take a card from your mother with the phone number on it? Just say how much your mother would love to hear from her? The nastiness is so much more likely with technology. Fewer people are likely to turn you away from the door.

Of course, you feel badly, but I will tell you that you cannot change anyone else’s mind or their behavior. Every time that I tried to intervene out of the kindness of my heart and the other person didn’t want to hear, not only did they not hear, I got kicked in the gut by them. So, now I NEVER, EVER place myself in the middle of people again.

Do what you feel you must. If you see, that your speaking to them is not helpful, back off. It will only annoy them further if you push. Trust me, I learned this the hard way. I would not repeat my mistake, if I could get a do over. I tried. I didn’t succeed. That’s that. Life is a crap shoot. We don’t always win with the chances we take. When we lose, we cut our losses and move on. We grieve. We grow. We learn.

There are ups and downs in life. The ‘downs’ in our lives hurt. We learn to appreciate the ‘ups’ a whole lot! Cherish what is joyful in your life. You have no control over some areas. Don’t allow those areas to choke out your joy. Take time to lick your wounds. Take time to grieve any losses, but don’t waste precious time by getting stuck. See a therapist if you need help sorting through your emotions. Therapy helped me tremendously.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Where are your cousin's parents (your aunt's son or daughter) in all of this? That's who you should be talking to.

If nothing else, writing cards will help your mom even if her sister never receives them. That could be a benefit of such a cruel disease - she may not remember how long it's been between cards, whether she received a reply...

Best wishes to you, Mom, and Auntie.

I know it's easier said than done, but you just need to let it go. All you really can do is pray that it may get better, but I wouldn't let these family members steal your joy. Love on your mom and enjoy yall's time together. We can only change things that is within our control. God bless you!

Yes. You let it go. There is nothing you can do about this. I am relieved that these people are no longer in your home, nor your responsibility. Help you Mom create small cards and notes to send your aunt. They may go into the trash via her grandson, but they may make your Mom feel better. I surely do wish you the best.

Borrow someone else's phone and call your aunt with it, handing the phone to your mother once you hear the ringtone. And then stay out of the conversation.

If your cousin responds badly, you'll need a 3rd party to explain to him that his preventing communication between the two sisters is isolation, which is abuse. You can probably facilitate the communication best by keeping the lowest possible profile. I expect your cousin is still sore. Being in the wrong doesn't generally make people less cross about anything.