I have been watching utube videos about alz and dem patients. In ALL cases that were there the family support was there. I have one sister who is 76 and a niece in PA that is as close to me as a daughter but has a very busy life. I have 2 close friends down the road and that is it. What will happen to me if and when I get this horrible disease ? My husband has Mild Dem. and is 68. I am caring for him until I can no longer do it if he needs to go in a facility. BUT who will take care of me ? I really would like to know what happens when you are diagnosed and there is no family around to care for you or put you in a facility. I'm so scared. I have to stop watching these videos. Thanks.....Hugs

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Tarajane, pls stop the YT videos. According to the alzheimers assoc, only 1 in 8 people over 65, and only 45% of people over 85 ever develop dementia or alzheimers. Just because a person is old and frail does NOT mean they have these diseases. Dementia is less than likely, a higher percentage of elderly never develop these diseases. My mom (RIP) lived to be 92 and was smart as a whip until the end. I think you are being a bit hasty in diagnosing yourself with a disease you may never have. Your husband is 68, and you are focusing on him at this point. I would suggest you speak to your own PCP and discuss your concerns, as well as the above who suggested doing some estate planning and researching facilities. But again, most people like my mother for example, and myself would prefer to die at home. 68 is young! I do not know how old you are, but you still have to live life to the fullest and have some fun and be grateful for the life we have! Dont be premature in your thinking....your are not dying, you are living! You are a wonderful person taking care of your husband, but that does not mean you are seeing your own future. Haste makes waste? Not sure how to put it, but imho, you are still young and vibrant. Knock of the googling, every person and every situation is different...:). :)
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Just a thought, you are taking care of hubs at home right now, correct? If so, I'd suggest you start looking for places for the both of you to move into when his level of care gets to the point that you can't do it anymore.

There are tiered facilities that go from IL, to AL, to NH and all within the same campus. Yiu may need to cast a wide out of your county search for these. Often there are apartments by NHs as the zoning allows for those as well, so he moves into NH but your in your own apt or patio home nearby.

You may want to think about when you are doing your research to perhaps move sooner rather than later. One thing I saw in both the IL and the 2 NH that my late
mom was in, was that often the new resident was not able to be social within a community. It was more than getting used to the environment. They had been at home on their own or with a spouse or daughter and it had become their world. The social skills of eating with others, waiting your turn, asking for things, being comfortable with sounds & bustle of groups, etc. has gone away. Often family just wait too too long to move them and when they finally do, the elder is unable to be barely sociable. Very sad.
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Tarajane, I can understand your worry. This is where estate planning, advanced directives, all that stuff can help. If you think you'll have enough money to afford an expensive Alzheimer's care unit, you'll likely be well cared for.

But I also worry about a lot of us baby boomers that are going to lose our minds but not our bodies and have no relatives who care about us. It might be a useful motivation to reach out to volunteer organizations, make friends and connections, to stand in for family when the time comes?

My dear "Uncle" Rex was left without blood relatives when his time came (I was a child then), but he knew he was dying. He made best friends with the undertaker :-) The guy even did the eulogy at his funeral, broke up over it an all. A little humor for a real serious topic.
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I hope so......I survived cancer, at least I kept my mind....
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Tara, have you ever visited a nursing home or memory care facility? While it is not the same as having someone who loves you care for you for the most part people are looked after, meaning their physical needs are met. Most places also try to do what they can to address their patient's emotional and spiritual needs as well. I think that once we reach that point where we no longer know who our friends and family even are we can be content in any place provided our physical needs are met and the staff show a little kindness and compassion. And don't worry about something that may never come, god may be kind and we may die painlessly of something else.
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