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How do you deal with an abusive mom with dementia that attacks hired caregiver in your own home. She's violent and aggressive. Doesn't want anyone in the house and wants sister to sit with her only 24/7.

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Get her to a geriatric psychiatrist for meds to address the agitation and aggression. Call here primary care doctor and tell her/him what is happening. The next time she becomes violent, call 911 and have her taken to the er for evaluation. Take your pick of those three ways to proceed.
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Video record a couple of the attacks/outbursts and take to the doctor. It's one thing if you report violence; it's another when the doctor has to watch the craziness. Might help with expediting medications to calm her down.
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Make sure you have her checked for Urinary Infections many times those outbursts can come from those infections that make it seem like dementia.Also make sure she is not dehydrated.
Good Luck some times outbursts can come from things we have not been seeing or recognizing.
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Look up "Baker Act" . A Baker Act is a means of providing individuals with emergency services and temporary detention for mental health evaluation and treatment when required, either on a voluntary or an involuntary basis. It is time for that.
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The doctor put my husband on Lorazapam .5 mg. 3 times a day for this reason. So far it's working. In July we had the police at our house 2 days in a row. I was advised to keep a journal for legal reasons. On the 3rd day the police took my husband to the ER under the Backer Act. I had to go to the court house first to get an Ex Parte order. After he was taken to the ER, I got a phone call and hour later from Social Services saying that they weren't equipped to take care of a dementia patient....so, after that the dr. put him on the anti anxiety meds 3 times a day even though he was a fall risk. It's kept him from being violent. He fell in November and suffered a hairline fracture on his leg. He was ordered 4 weeks of non baring weight on his leg. While in the hospital, they didn't give him the Lorazapam and instead gave him Haldol which is a very potent ant-psychotic. When he went into rehab, he got very violent after taken off of the Haldol. I went over to calm him down so that they could give him a shot to knock him out. No one knew that he had been on Haldol. Not even his doctor, as the hospital only uses staff doctors. When I explained the situation, they put him back on the Lorazapam and so far it's working again.
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If she is violent she needs to be evaluated by a psychiatrist to find out what is causing this behavior. If all biological testing proves nothing is wrong, then medication can be given to soothe her. If you hire outside help and she harms them, she will be liable. Get her help in any event.
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I agree with Sophie and with Scott. We do not have enough information to know if your mom has Alzheimer's disease. But if she does,only medication will ease her agitation and her fears.Usually the medications are the ones used for psychoses and indicate mom is having difficulty separating real life from fantasy.
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some good suggestions here and to Aprilgal: my father was also put on Haldol, but most nursing homes will not take patients on that so they had to wean him off before he went into NH. my father has dementia and also did not want someone in the home but he never got violent with them. he did get very agitated and my mom would argue with him, which after much talking to her, I told her to stop cause she was not going to win. I wish CAREGIVERHELP7 good luck. If you can get your loved one evaluated that would be good.
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It sounds to me like things are already dangerous, and your mom needs to be in a facility that's better equipped to handle violent patients. Don't let anyone else put their safety in jeopardy
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Has she been checked for a UTI? When my mother (now deceased at 104) would get them, she turned into a raving maniac, chasing her caregiver swinging at her with her cane, she bit my handy man when he tried to help. Ordinarily she was sweet and gentle and she died in her right mind (well mostly) The UTIs turn the most gentle soul into a monster. HAVE HER CHECKED IMMEDIATELY FOR URINARY TRACT INFECTION. It causes encephalitis (brain swelling) in the elderly.
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