Mom is 87 and step dad is 85. I have been staying with them since september. 2 nights ago he came into my bedroom saying he was cold, I have never led him on or given him any reason to do this. My mom is 87 and quite mean to him verbally abusing him...Not sure what to do.. I fix the meals here and do the driving basically a in home caregiver...He told me this am that my mom wont touch him I said In no way can I do that........Help.......
Separate him from mom so she can get sleep, often there is restless leg syndrome which will keep her awake.
He should have his own room. Imop.
That is my advice, imop.
At this point, some immediate planning should be done. If you wait, they could be separated, lose their home, and end up staying with relatives separatlely.
There is no need for you to be miserable too. If you move out, live nearby, do daytime caregiving, their needs will become more readily apparent to others.
I recommend placement for the more medically needy parent.
May be time to get him placed in a secure facility. What may follow are delusions, confusion, outbursts, and other symptoms you can search here on AC or online.
Now, put a lock on your bedroom door. Even though he has imbalance issues and may fall, remember you always have the basic right to protect yourself from harm.
Glad you did not over-react and are waiting to ask the doctor, be sure to get a strong recommendation and act upon it. These behaviors can get worse, and are more than unpleasant-they will become dangerous to his health when APS is called.