Hello all - my 87 year old mother has an Alzheimer’s diagnosis and is getting steadily worse. In recent months she has decided my husband is stealing from her, stalking her, you name it. I am an only child and we moved her to an IL building near us two years ago, thinking we could spend final years enjoying each other’s company. Not so. When I see her now, the conversation always devolves into attacks on my husband. And I. Can. Not. Stand it. Seriously, I no longer care if her brain is broken and she thinks green is blue and cats are dogs. I don’t care if she tells me multiple people are coming into her apartment and taking her things, or that ghosts come out of the vents and play cards all night in her dining room (all things she has said). I can learn to tolerate that, maddening as it is. But hearing her trash my husband makes my blood boil. I don’t want to spend rare free time from a taxing job dealing with this anymore. So I am wondering, is there any use in trying to set ground rules that we will not spend time together unless there is no such discussion? Or should we just stop spending time together at all? What have others done? Too often I see advice alon the order of “humor them” and “enter into their reality” or “come up with a fun and distracting game.” Not helpful, I’m afraid.