My sister is staying with her now but is in poor health, mom has diabetes, has asphasia (can't talk) because of stroke. She has dementia. She gets around physically great and knows us kids. Refuses to go to retirement center...gets angry and hurt and cries if we mention it. What to do? I have POA and all my siblings are looking at me to take the reigns and make a decision. Also, my husband and I have built a pretty good nest egg for ourselves I do not want to be responsible for the debt of the NH. But will have to sign the papers for her to be admitted if we take her there. We live in Louisiana and will apply for Medicaid as she has very little finances and a piece of a car and 3 dogs..HELP!

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As POA you can place her if she can no longer make informed decisions. Of course she isn't going to want to go. In her time NHs were horrible places.

Once on Medicaid, Medicare will be primary and Medicaid secondary concerning health insurance. She will receive Dental and vision and prescriptions. Her SS and pension (if any) will be applied to her care. I made the home Moms payee so I didn't have to worry about that. She will get a personal needs account (PNA) in NJ it & 50 a month. This can be used for clothing, snacks she likes, toiletries, etc. The NH provides toothpaste, brushes, powder, shampoo, soap. So really, all you need to do is visit.

This is no longer what she wants but what she needs.
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Reply to JoAnn29

Stop mentioning it. If this is what has to happen go forward with plans and finding the best place for mom. Dementia only gets worse and mom can’t reason about this, mentioning it is only making it worse. The business manager of the nursing home can help with Medicaid application. When my mom went into a NH, she was private pay along with LTC insurance for a while, then went on Medicaid and the business manager helped us through all of it. You won’t be financially responsible.
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Reply to Daughterof1930

Wishing you well, Dear One. Keep us posted. We care.
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Reply to DesertGrl53

You will not be held responsible for mom's nursing home costs. Sounds like mom needs a nursing home. You would sign mom's name, by you as POA.

This should not effect your financial status at all.

Check with an elder law attorney.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to gladimhere
johnsonangela53 Mar 24, 2019
Thanks, im gonna try and meet a lawyer this week before we take her. Thanks for the reply it helps.

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