First time poster! First off, much love and thanks to all of you. This site has been my refuge so many times as I learn to handle my changed life! I’ll try to be brief, but the situation is complicated. Dad was living with his wife in another state, until both the VA and their ALF contacted me with concerns about their fighting. He had been sent several times to the VA in-patient pysch ward, he believes she did it vindictively, and decided to come live with me. The VA evaluated him as having dementia but able to make decisions and encouraged him to live with me.
During the first month, they fought through phone calls and she would falsely recall what he said. Finally he told her he didn't want to speak with her any more. His wife started leaving 5-6 messages every day with threats so I blocked her phone and told her daughter her mom could call us on a family member's phone if they supervised her. She hasn't done that and Dad hasn't asked to speak with her until today, when she mailed a rambling letter begging him to go back. He seemed okay at first until suddenly he seemed very afraid of being sent back to the psych ward, which he blames her for. (which is partly true, but not the whole story).Then he told me he wanted to call her and accuse her and her daughter of a whole bunch of things that aren't true, just his dementia talking. I slow-walked him by telling him I'd have her DIL help her call us. My question - I know he's going to forget about calling by tomorrow. Is it okay if I just let him forget and not help him call? He can't work a phone by himself, and I'm afraid of the can of worms he'd open by calling.