I have gotten to the point where I'm barely functioning. I'm out on medical leave, but I don't feel like my situation has improved. I was supposed to be getting stabilized on my medication during the month I was out; that hasn't happened. My psychiatrist said, "just go back to work; it gets harder if you don't and they'll find someone to replace you." He has a point, but I think that I have a good chance of having a hard time and losing my job if I go back in my current state.
My sleep pattern is out of whack; my short-term memory is gone. I forget chunks of conversations; I frequently forget what I intended to do when I go from one room to another. I'm irritable and stressed out. My mother also has mental issues, which she refuses treatment for. When she has delusions that someone is coming into the house or that something "funny" is going on, but "the authorities" are watching and will take care of it, it stresses me more.
My GP said that part of the problem might be that a combination of medications is leaving me too sedated, leaving to the oversleeping problem that I had for the last month that I was at work. At the psychiatrist's office, I complained that I was drowsy and having trouble getting up. The ARNP said that she "hadn't heard of that before" with the medication I had just started, even though it's listed as a possible side effect on the insert.
Ugh, I'm long-winded. Long story short, I'm scheduled to go back on Monday. I don't feel prepared to do so in this state. I want to check myself in to a psychiatric inpatient facility. The problem is going to be making sure my mother is fed. She's ambulatory and takes care of her hygiene, but won't/can't use the microwave. If I leave food in the refrigerator, she may or may not eat it. She is a bit of a hoarder though. She "shops" for things in the living room and kitchen, taking them to her room. But currently that's just things like dried fruit, dry cereal, and chips.
I'll probably be in for three days (if they admit me). She gets Meals on Wheels on weekdays. However, on weekends, no hot meals are available. I was going to have food delivered through one of those restaurant taxi services, then I realized: she doesn't open the door for anyone. The only thing I can think of right now is to leave her food that doesn't need refrigeration and that can be a somewhat balanced meal. I'm on my way to the store to get some of those tuna salad kits and whatever else I see that's suitable. The rest of the family is almost 1000 miles away, so I'll see if friends can call or stop by to check on her.
Am I missing anything that I should be doing before I seek admission? She has an Emergency Alert pendant, and typing this message I just realized that I need to put a corded phone in her room in addition to the cell phone and cordless phone, just in case there's a power outage. Ok, this is really long. Sorry. I'm in Florida, in case someone thinks of a service that might be applicable.