(Sorry for the rambling)
I made a post back in September of 2020 explaining about my grandmas memory. Recently, it seems as though she is spiraling once again and her memory is a bit foggy, she’s mixing up her words a bit more than she use to, and it’s the little things that she is saying that I am noticing something is off about her memory. I know that she is 76 (going on 77), but it’s getting to the point where I am scared that her memory decline is accelerating. I haven’t approached her youngest son (the trustworthy one) about this.

I also stated as to how my grandmother's children have no interest in giving me some help with taking her to her doctors appointments which are now increasing due to her kidney problems. They have also started belittling everything, they always tell my grandmother that I should be “doing more around the house”, when in fact one of her daughters only calls her one-two times a month & she has no idea what I do.

After taking some of you alls advice (on a previous post on here), I did get some much needed therapy help for a while and I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder (I did stop the therapy), but I am looking to resume this year. My problem now, is that I have started to feel the agitation of everything coming down on me again. My mental health has taken a steep decline and I feel more and more anger everyday from the lack of care of her children and it makes me want to runaway (even at the age of 24, going on 25) and let her children step up. However, I feel that I’m responsible for my grandma's well being and I’m afraid that they’ll neglect her. I am afraid that my resentment & anger is going to cause me to blow up and snap. All of this going on in my home life and then the pressure in my work life is getting to be too much and have driven me to thoughts of offing myself.

I really just want to drop everything and disappear from this family without a trace, but what am I to do?

Please do what’s best for you, guard your health, physical, mental, and emotional. You won’t get your health back and shouldn’t be doing this caregiving. Let your family know that you’re leaving and give a date that’s firm. I don’t blame you for wanting to run away, you’re under too much stress. I wish you peace and healing
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Daughterof1930

Hi, Rom. Please take the advice of agingcare's hotline. None of us are trained psychologists; I know you know that. And I know you need help and have recognized that and have got help for yourself in the past. Please go back and re-enlist in that support. And do know we all have human limitations; none of us are gods or even fairies with a wand. We can't change much and we cannot do what we cannot do. We are only human. You may not be able to care any longer for your Grandma. You may need to care now for yourself first. We all need help from time to time; I sure have. And feelings and emotions come at us like weather fronts. They batter us, they lift and go away, and they can return from time to time. That's called normal. Keep that phone number at your side. There's always someone there to help you. Our times are tough right now. The pandemic, division in our country. Add that to our individual burdens and its a heavy load. Best out to you. I hope you will take good care of yourself. In an emergency people will take care of your grandma and her needs just as they would if she had no children or grandchildren. Best to you. I am so sorry for all you are going through.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to AlvaDeer
RomAnders330 Jan 6, 2022
Thank you so much 🙏🏾
Hi RomAnders330, 
 Caregiving is a long difficult road, and we're happy you have found the support of others here on this site. 
 However, there are limits to what untrained members on our site can provide for you. 
 Please reach out to experts for additional support and the help you need 24 hours a day at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 
 Call 1-800-273-8255
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to AgingCareCM

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