Parent has health problems. I am currently their nurse, chef, errand boy, therapist, etc. Basically their whole body. What are my options to get help if they keep cancelling appointments and rejecting help from trained medical professional? I feel obligated to stick around and help as they have no one else. I'm at my wits end and find myself depressed over self-preservation and the ethics of caring for the only person who cared for me for my whole life.
The medical issue is lymphedema and (continually) untreated diabetes.
Otherwise, I'm not here to talk about the truths of the spirit realm :) but I agree with you. A move should be made.
Let someone else (nurses and PT) come into the home and they can address her lymphedema and a PT can try getting her to stronger and more mobile - let them be “the bad guys” and it may help you to move forward and see if she is willing and that you brought the opportunity to her - it may help you in making peace with whatever she decides from there?
I care for my mom after her stroke and cognitively she was not capable of being her own advocate and committing to rehabilitation in the beginning - but now she is - so now that I got her to the levels she needed to be able to then choose to participate - I know I have “let go and let God” and my mom now can decide where she takes the rest of this journey. I am at peace knowing these next steps are hers - I have brought in the best therapies - made sure she got mental health therapy - she works with a neuropsychologist and a cognitive therapist - and she has to participate for it to go further. So maybe (since she lives with you) getting her in home health and therapy to see if and will she commit to allowing others to help you both will help you make peace with whatever it is that lies ahead? Best wishes 🦋
No, the hard part and complication here has been a combination of insurance and the fact that generally a PCP needs to recommend homehealth for insurance to cover it. I think I'm going to try this route. A wound care doctor recommended a rehab but the reviews had a LOT of instances of people saying their loved ones were neglected and left in better shape than they arrived.
Thanks for your reply, it gives me some hope.
This would be a dealbreaker for me.
Please consider seeing someone (or reading the book Boundaries) in order to form boundaries. Your parents are being enabled by you unless both of them have dementia, in which case you cannot be the caregiver of them both without forfeiting your own life.
I wish you the best. You cannot change them. It is now time to learn to change yourself.
Is either one being treated for lymphedema? If not, and assuming there's leaking fluid involved, that could be a literal life or death situation, especially if there are any contaminants that can enter the skin.
You might do some research at good, reputable clinic websites (Mayo, Cleveland) on both lymphedema and diabetes and let her/him/them read more about the challenges they're facing, and the threats they're taking. Untreated diabetes can have severe repercussions. Dying is tough enough, but ignoring and/or refusing treatment for either of these very serious illnesses is literally courting an unpleasant end.
Is there some reason this person (s) refuses medical treatment?
I think he/she needs a good frank come to reality talk from a doctor, advising how death by lymphedema or diabetes can be very unpleasant.
I think she needs the scare talk too. This is where this gets more complicated - the denial of care is basically a religious reason. Ironically, I agree on some aspects of it (as far as how detrimental the wrong doctor can be vs the right doctor). The main difference is she thinks every doctor is the wrong doctor. I believe there are good (i.e. Holy Spirit inspired ) doctors out there.