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I am taking care of my 94 year old bedridden mother at my house. It has been 10 months and I have learned a lot and I know caregiving is not for weenies and is a hard, full-time often thankless job. I am the only girl and my younger brother is taking care of my Dad at his home. My parents just celebrated 70 years of marriage. Soooo, my aunt, who knows my family situation, decides to get a plant for my parents for their anniversary. What does she get you ask? A snake plant? A philodendron, a cactus? In other words something that can basically take care of itself with little intervention by me? NO - she brings not one, but two orchids in a pot. They are beautiful BUT as a long time killer of needy plants I was furious - inside of course - thanked her profusely. The last thing I need right now is a needy plant that I can almost guarantee will be on full life support within two months. I have never been able to keep an orchid going and I don’t know anyone who has. To me, they are like Poinsettias- you buy them at Christmas (Easter) and the next year you buy them again. I know it is possible to keep them alive since I now possess one but seriously, of all the plant and flower choices why bring a caregiver a plant that needs care!!!!???? To plants like this I may as well be Ted Bundy!!! I know it was for my parents but you-know-who will be it’s caretaker too! Unlike my mother, it will not get individual attention that is for sure!
Has anyone else had a (funny) situation like this?

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Oh my Honey, HUGS!!!!

But seriously, orchids are not that bad. I was a longtime killer of them as well, until I spoke to my brother-in-law. His neighbors all bring him their dying orchids, and now he has them all over his house.

Forget about ice cubes. I don’t know WHY the cards say that. I think it’s because it kills orchids, so you have to buy more.

Step 1: Run your orchid under the faucet so it gets good and drenched, and all the bark is wet.

Step 2: Bob it up and down gently, gettin the excess water escape.

Step 3: Place in a sunny south facing spot (if possible).

Step 4: Repeat once every week.

Step 5: About every few months, pour old coffee over the bark after your have watered and let drain. The nitrogen is good and gives the orchid “food”.

You can cut off dead stems, or if they remain green, just leave them alone. They will bloom again.
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jemfleming Aug 2021
Well that may be but the point is I already have my hands full and a nice artificial arrangement would have been just fine, would not need any care (except occasional dusting) and would last in glorious bloom forever! What’s next? - a puppy?🙃
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Fellow Orchid Assassinator here, in hysterics.

Don’t know if the sterling silver bracelet gifted to the LO who needed several boxes of Depends can match your goofy gifter but I KNOW you are capable of appreciating the misplaced sentiment.

I got the bracelet away from LO before she tried to…….never mind.

L❤️Ve your sense of humor! Hope you have a peaceful day.
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As for a (funny) gift, that’s my sister-in-law. We are a caregiver to my mother-in-law who is 79, but we also have a 5 yr old and a 7 yr old. My sister-in-law LOVES to get the boys presents. However, whenever she drops them off, she also drops off boxes and boxes of “toys” aka: crap from her basement that is both dirty and broken. Last load was 32 boxes! I finally told her no more, as we then just have to deal with donating them to Goodwill for her instead of her doing it (she’s a hoarder).

Now it’s, “Thanks, but no thanks on the ‘gifts’!”
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You made me laugh so hard. Thank you!! I really do wonder why people just don’t think.
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My sister shipped my mom one of those precut triple layer cheesecakes for the holidays one year. It served 12 people. My mom ate one or two slices ( one slice equals 3 regular slices of cheesecake) and forced the rest on me. So I wound up eating about 30 slices of cheese cake. My sister also sent my mom flowers one time and that card said " I sent these to you because once you are dead you can't enjoy flowers". Enjoyed your rant! :) my work office is where my coworkers bring plants so that they won't die instantly. I was born with a semi green thumb and enjoy taking care of plants. No one can tend to those orchids you get in the store because they require specific temps/humidity/moisture etc. if you get them through a florist it's even worse because they cost a fortune.
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Lol 😃 I love a fun rant!

I think I posted this once before in the beginning.

My mom came one on feeding tube after her stroke (which to say the least her stomach was not happy about) once she started weaning off and could have some foods - every week was bags of Hershey kisses from my sister “you know the sister whom in three years still hasn’t changed one depends” 😳.
Give the Orchid a few ice cubes and when you forget and it’s no longer pretty throw it away right next to the pile of my Hershey kisses 😊
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