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Mom is very, very detail oriented and there is a perfect, precise process for everything. So, I am self-conscious if I have to return to the store because I forgot an item ("I always had a list I carried with me" she'll say) or if I try a shrub in the yard and the deer get it ("Oh yes, you can plant those" she'll let me know). I feel like I have lost my freedom to live an imperfect life. She is also super-thrifty and anytime I make a purchase for something for my home, she wants to know how much I have spent. I am pretty thrifty too, but she has no sense of today's prices for many things, and I know she is inwardly evaluating my every move (I hear her do this outwardly with others). So, sometimes, I don't answer these questions. I went out today, literally just to get and drive around out on my day off--yes, I know this is wasteful but my pandemic and caregiving fatigue is real (I am not yet fully vaccinated). When I came home she asked where I went. I was doing things in her suite and just absently and cheerfully answered, "out". She said, "okay Aunt Mary" (my aunt she dislikes who is socially adept at dodging things). This is the second time this week she has called me Aunt Mary. The other time was when she asked me how much I spent on my patio furniture and I honestly answered that I didn't remember. Today again, I was surprised, hurt and reminded of the lack of boundaries. I know we need a conversation. Advice, anyone?

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Sounds like it would be best if mom lived elsewhere.

She clearly has a very poor self-image if she has to build herself up by criticizing you.

The boundaries are for YOU to set; you can only control YOUR hehavior, not hers.
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I like what Geaton said. Make a game out of it. My thought when she compares u to Aunt Mary say "always liked that woman". U can always say, "I'd rather not say". Had an Aunt like your Mom. Not one of my favorites. She was so bad, she'd walk in the house and look at ur mail.
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Learning to walk away from mother when she becomes out of line---racist, nasty, nit-picky, critical--you name it--has saved my mental health many times.

I CAN walk away. She can't.

At 91, she is not going to get 'better', so if she's making racist remarks, I simply say "Mom, that's completely innapropriate." Even if only 20% of what I say goes into her brain, I'll take that.

When she really gets going, I leave.
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The boundaries are yours, not hers. Remove yourself each and every time your personal boundaries are crossed. And limit your conversation to topics you’re comfortable with. Don’t offer or tell information that you don’t wish to. There are a number of topics I’ve set a boundary about with a sibling of mine, I won’t participate in any talk of these topics. If it comes up I change the subject, and if that doesn’t work I leave. You’re doing a lot for your mom, guard your own health, emotional and otherwise
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I think continuing to live with our parents keeps the mother-child bond too tight. Boundaries are not "accepted". They are SET. You need to be free and clear in your OWN mind that the life you wish to leave doesn't have the OCDC strictures that your Mother's does. Why would it. You are different people. I would suggest not living with Mom. Cuts down a tremendous amount on argument. If your mother is failing somewhat a long talk will do little good. I would seek professional help to get a good understanding of what boundaries are, of seeking peace with your own way to doing things, and peace with your Mother who is likely very little more critical than she always was.
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Just tell her what you've said here -- you feel like you're living under a microscope, and she needs to knock it off. Her need to show her expertise in all things isn't necessary, and you've lived long enough to be comfortable with your decisions as well as your mistakes.
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