My 94 year old mother is living in NY with my brother and his wife. She owns a small house in Florida which she wants to return to. We don't think that would be safe because she fell 3 times in the year prior going to live with my brother. Although, she is treated very good at my brothers, she is very unhappy and cries often. She refuses to consider assisted living or having a home health care provider go to her house because she doesn't have much money. She was always very independent in the past and still believes that she can do everything on her own. We had a independent social worker come to the house to evaluate her and the soc. worker said she was best living with my brother. However, I dont' like to see her so unhappy in the last years of her life. Any suggestions?

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If she is sound mentally, she has a right to her choices. Try to get her a personal alarm system she can wear to call for help. Also, see if she will let you hire in-home help for some of the time, if only to check on her daily. This is tough, I know, but elders do have rights. I hope I will be able to exercise my rights as long as I am capable of doing so.

If it gets too bad, she may have to move into assisted living whether she wants to or not, but try her way if you can, for as long as your can. You are right to have her checked by social services.

You have a good heart and will go with your gut. Take care,
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