We are about to sell our home; we expect to realize gains of about $400,000. I am 84 and will go on dialysis within the year. My husband is 82 and has begun cognitive decline. We are still able to live independently, but need help. I don't think we need assisted living quite yet.
My question is whether we should rent or buy our next living space. I think renting would make transitioning to assisted living much easier when needed. We have no other major assets and no heirs.
kind of a no-brainer
Let somebody else deal with all the hassles of upkeep and get a little place all on one floor
you’ll be glad you did
you will be independent longer
at least that’s the way it seems to me
I wish you well
You might consider assisted living options now. They run the gamut in levels of independent living, and leave you very little to worry about taking care of.
In my community, there is an assisted living complex which includes a half dozen detached houses, complete with garage, yard and patios.
As your needs change, the cares provided by the Assisted living can be adapted to meet your needs; you don't have to move again later, when you feel you are ready for more help.
If you want downsized independent living, but you need help, a nice AL is the way to go! Don't wait until you have further declined to start searching for a new living arrangement and make a move again! You may not be up to the task later.
Get an executor you trust (could be the / an attorney).
I, too, would think renting would be an easier transition however there may be some areas to consider that you may not think of that an attorney could help you process - think through.
Someone wrote this a while ago:
"We hired an elder lawyer and they said we had to create a Miller Trust.
All of moms income gets put into the Miller Trust except for $52 dollars. The $52 is used for haircuts, and clothing. Then Medicaid pays the difference in the $8500 mon bill to the memory care facility.
This may help you down the road.
Gena / Touch Matters
Also, it’s unadvisable to take on responsibilities and hidden expenses:,property taxes, fire insurance and maintenance that homeownership carries. This is not age discrimination but dangerous conditions to commit to ownership.
Yes, Rent please..so much easier to deal with at this stage.
It sound like you would be able to afford a nice apartment complex if not Assisted Living, so at least do some visiting and give it consideration.
Assisted living means just that, you pay for the help you need assistance with and do the rest yourself.
Please check into Assisted living. They are not all created equal and some are lovely facilities with great food and activities. You would be able to do as you please and have assistance available when needed.
Dialysis takes the wind out of your sails. I have a 32 year old friend that gets it 3/4 times a week and his life is getting Dialysis and recovering from Dialysis with a couple hours in between to maybe do something else. Your life will change dramatically when you start Dialysis.
Best of luck and Prayers that you find a place that is a good fit.
Financial Advisor/Financial planner or eldercare attorney to understand implications related to selling your current home, potential proceeds, and long-term financial planning.
Questions- how long would you intend to rent- Would rental place have facilities in the home you need/ proximity to dr/ healthcare
I think k you shd speak to a specialist and get all of your options and don’t need rushed into any decisions from them - then you can de use what’s best
best wishes
If you rent from a complex it will have better management than renting a house from a homeowner.
We rented in a place that had people of all ages. Young families to seniors lived there.
We could walk to the grocery, the beauty salon and the UPS store.
Our rental felt like a house has no one was above us and it was pretty spacious.
We never had anything break down but you can't beat the convenience of the maintenance guys hand trucking in a new stove if the stove breaks down.
You don’t need the responsibilities of homeownership any longer .
Step two is downsize to a main building, studio, 1 or 2 bedrooms. Assisted or independent living. Step three might be memory care if they need it. Step four could be rehab or nursing care home, right there onsite. Gym, game nights, parties, transportation.
In your situation, that's what I'd do. You'd have transportation to dialysis and other doctor appointments. Husband could advance to memory care any time without a big push to find something on short notice.
Two of my friends had a villa, then he died. She was able to stay in that home until she had a stroke. It was easier for her to live in a 2 bedroom apartment after that, with rehab around the corner and dining hall down the hall. She's still there, grateful for the choice they made many years ago. At times of crisis, they didn't have to create a plan because they already had one. That's a blessing.
No, but I think we can heard the faint albeit very distinct distant thunder of a stampede coming.
Ma'am,
It would be very wise to start visiting places that offer different levels of senior living. Comparison shop.
You can start familiarizing yourself with places that include independent living and progressive needs. You may want to talk with someone in the senior counseling industry such as a senior care manager, (aka: geriatric care managers, elder care specialists, aging life care professionals, or professional care manager).
I'm not a spring chicken myself. Did you ever Google…Senior vs Ederly? Senior are those who are between 55 and 65 years old. Older than that…we be elderly.
Don't wait for something to hit the fan. It couldn't hurt to start looking around while YOU can make a choice. Your husband is depending on you.
I have friends, Katie and Max, who are in an almost similar situation as you and your husband. In their case Max is 84 and has a touch of dementia. Katie is 81 and tiny. (If Max fell the best Katie could do is vacuum him). They are adorable and always have a glint of mischief in their eyes. Their adult children lived 4 hours away from them.
Thank goodness, seeing the writing on the wall so to speak, three months ago their kids convinced their parents to move closer to them just in case something should happen, and into a 3 tiered; independent, assisted, and progressive care, senior living apartment complex.
They moved before something happened not when it happened.
In no time Katie and Max familiarized themselves with their new building, the grounds, the staff, and they started making new friends. Although the husband needed a little cueing he became a whiz at finding the dining room, the rehab building, how to manage the community's private little bus that got folks around on "campus" and all the fun places. And best of all they loved not having to cook or clean.
I'm here to tell you they moved to their new place in the nick of time.
Six weeks after they move it seemed as though a giant hand flicked a switch.
She needed to go for a week's stay in the campus' rehab quarters luckily in the same complex as their apartment which enabled her husband to visit her everyday. He had an assigned helper to make sure he got up in the morning, prepare himself, never miss a meal, and checked on him for bedtime. And on his own he visited his wife thanks to the little campus bus. Assistance was always close by. Katie was not worried for the little while she and Max were apart, and their still-in-their-working-life sons and daughter weren't scrambling and having heart attacks about their beloved mom and dad.
Katie and Max are back in their new apartment and they look forward to getting involved with interesting people, seeing their family more often, not worrying about each other. They're staying curious, and discovering new things.
Please forgive me but it doesn’t hurt to start looking right now.
Katie and Max, may you have a statue erected in your honor in the Elder Magnificence Hall of Fame.
Make sure you have an assigned PoA now for both you and your husband... DO NOT be each other's PoA.
Renting may be a headache if you lose your ability to rent in that location. My good friend, 74, just sold her 100-yr old farmhouse because she was tired of the repair and maintenance. After considering purchasing another home for a nanosecond, she found an awesome rental that she just loves, but there's no guarantee it'll always be available to her, or the rent may skyrocket, or be converted to condos, and is not ADA compliant.
I wish you all the best as you plan for the worst and hope for the best.
You are not going to want a hefty mortgage just at the time you need transport to three times weekly dialysis and are exhausted both before and after treatments. You will not be up to cleaning. I don't know what your monthly income is, but it's no time to be playing in stocks, and if hubby will need Memory care (sounds like?) when you can't care for him, the 400,000 will be gone very quickly between the two of you.
I would get expert help on this. That certainly wouldn't be ME.
I am assuming you have fully explored whether or not you want dialysis. In 80s I personally long ago ruled that out. As an RN I found people lived a good deal longer than predicted without it, and it isn't a difficult death with Hospice on Board. But then I am a bit of a "death junkie". I don't mean to try to hang on as the quality of life deteriorates.
This is a difficult decision for certain and I hope you get a lot of help with the options. I would begin, if I were you, drastically downsizing, choosing a rental with good w/c access, good safety cars, and etc.
There are so many components at play here in this choice ongoing and I couldn't more wish you the very best of luck.