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My sister has been in an assisted living facility for about 6 months. In addition to having dementia, she has been known for many years for exaggerating or telling "white lies". She claims "everyone" agrees that the food is inedible..."just awful". "I don't even want to eat anymore." I recall that complaints about the food were voiced when my mother was in a care facility 15 years ago. I'm suspicious that complaints about food are part of the "scene". If not, what's the best way to check up on the food other than spending mealtime there? (I think covid restrictions are still in effect in the dining facilities.)

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It's the LAW for elders to chronically complain about the food in Assisted Living and Memory Care! My mother says she can't possibly eat the "sh*t" they serve her daily. Meanwhile, she's pushing 200 lbs. So guess what mother? You're eating SOMETHING, aren't you?

There are no COVID restrictions in most ALs anymore, so why not go see for yourself just how horrible, awful and inedible the food really IS at your sister's place?

Also, look up the EMPLOYEE reviews of the facility on Indeed.com. I did that yesterday and lo & behold. 90% of the reviews were from employees who were thankful for the FREE MEALS they were given while at work in the ALF! Now, if the meals were THAT bad, who'd be grateful for them? Nobody.

The other trick I have up my sleeve is I offer to bring my mother either a home cooked meal or a restaurant meal every Sunday. 90% of the time she says No Thank You. Now, if the food was so god-awful, wouldn't you think she'd jump at the chance for a home cooked meal to be brought to her on Sundays? I also have snacks sent to her from Amazon so there's never a valid reason for why she can't possibly eat.

Good luck!
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sjplegacy May 2021
I laughed out loud at your first paragraph. I love the sarcasm.
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They could have made an activity out of complaining about the way the green beans were cooked in my mom's Independent Living Facility.

I think the only way of checking is to eat there yourself. Or to check the food safety ratings, if the municipality has them.

Think about the school lunches you ate as a kid. Were they primo food? No. Were they edible and nutritious? Probably.

Bring treats. Bring your parent's favorite food and have a picnic.
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My brother who was in ALF and I used to laugh so hard as we said it was like a JOB for those living in ALF to complain about the food. I saw the menus. The choices, the extra treats. He thought they did a great job. Were the vegetables always fresh instead of some canned? Nope. But overall a good job given it IS "institutional cooking" and there's no way around that. They would let the elders have other choices like a chicken salad when they didn't like the two choices. I would indeed go to lunch there. Tell the administrator why. Say you would like to sit in for lunch a few days, or dinner. You can then judge for yourself.
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My mom and dad went into assisted living in 2017. I would have dinner with them and a couple other ladies each night. My folks had been living on pop tarts and cereal for years. The food would be served restaurant style in the faux fancy dining room and mom would sniff at it and say I THINK THESE BEANS WERE FROZEN. Then clean her plate and dads as well. Ya gonna eat that? She gained 5 pounds in 3 months. The food was pretty horrible though.
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disgustedtoo May 2021
"The food was pretty horrible though."

Good thing it was horrible, imagine how much more weight she would have gained!

Also too funny when they're resorting to boxed crap and microwave dinners at home, that suddenly they become connoisseurs (food, cleaning, laundry - no one can do it like they can!!!)
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Negativity tends to breed, so when one person starts complaining no doubt "everyone" else pitches in too.
One thing that I found about the meals at my mother's nursing home was that despite appearing varied and tasty at first glance they were repetitive, so the little things that you might overlook the first few times can really start to become annoying when they are repeated over and over again. Its kind of like if you took all your meals at the local restaurant and there was never an option to have something off the menu, it can get tiring no matter how well prepared.
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The last time I had a meal in my parents ALF was just before Covid broke out.
My mom and I had chicken tacos w/ pico de Gallo. Dad had tomato soup and salad. The hubs had a mushroom omelet. Everything was made from scratch. The chicken was very tender. Everything was very fresh but not fancy. Everything was low sodium. No salt shakers on the table. This was a major upgrade from canned soups and packaged meals they were eating at home. They have all the fresh fruit they want, usually apples and oranges. My mom told me she had roast beef and mashed potatoes for Mother's Day and that it was pretty good. ALF is open but we cannot eat with them yet. What they have struggled with is low sodium or salt free meals. There blood pressure has improved.
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LOL my mom's AL meals were a constant source of complaints. But the ladies were lining up 30 minutes before mealtime to get to their seats! Luckily Mom was not a picky eater.
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disgustedtoo May 2021
"But the ladies were lining up 30 minutes before mealtime to get to their seats!"

Oh yeah... don't get in the way or you'll get run over by a dozen walkers!
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Is she on a restricted diet at all, such as low-salt? My mother griped endlessly about the food, but then she likes spicy Mexican food more than anything, so she was getting none of that what with her low-salt restrictions and an ulcer. I finally told them to get a bottle of mild salsa and put it on some of her food.

Also, keep in mind that as people age, they lose their ability to taste much. The last flavor to go is sweetness, so that's one reason why seniors tend to like desserts a lot more than salads and savory foods.

You might check with the nutritionist at your sister's facility and ask if your sister is on a restricted diet, and ask her what could be done to brighten up the flavors a bit.
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cweissp May 2021
Where mom is, some of the residents would buy some condiments they liked - dad (when he was alive) went for the salt substitute (Mrs Dash) and peppered everything to death (I remember-when much younger- I made a dinner which I actually slaved over, invited mom and dad and as he was reaching for the pepper I requested that before applying the pepper to please try it as I had already seasoned it - he wasn't happy but after tasting it he didn't pepper it to death either). You are right - the meals are on the bland side - mom had her flavored creamer.
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A couple of things to keep in mind: complaining about things binds people in an US VERSUS THEM way. It gives the residents something in common.

Secondly, as we age our sense of taste diminishes. So the greatest chef on the planet couldn't fix that.
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To all who decide to "bash" people for speaking the truth about circumstances and their situations, instead of telling them to leave or move or do this or that, CONSIDER THE FACT THAT THERE JUST MAY BE REASONS THAT DO NOT MAKE THAT POSSIBLE. I am not going to dignify this bashing by giving examples of why some "obvious" moves are not possible - but believe me, there are often very legitimate, valid reasons for someone NOT being able to leave and go elsewhere or live differently. But until you find out those reasons, you will continue to put that person down and that is just unkind, rude, and downright mean. Wait until this all happens to you - then you will see what I mean.
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Riley2166 May 2021
I just ate my dinner in the dining room. There were noodles and corn and barbecued chicken. The chicken was so tough I could barely cut it with a good knife so I ate just a few pieces. So now I am back in my room and will have to prepare something to eat. I just can't eat this overcooked, cheap, institutional food.
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