Dad has been in his LTC facility for a little over 2 years. Between lockdown and his bout with Covid, he’s moved twice, but for the past 7 months has resided in his newest room. It’s very spacious and nicely decorated (by me) with many finishing touches from his previous house.
Although dad has dementia, he is somewhat high functioning most of the time. He has his moments, but they have more to do with confusion and following the rules of a facility vs his private residence where he resided for 53 years. He does require assistance with bathing, dressing, and sometimes cleaning up after toileting (at times), but other than that, he eats on his own, and does his own thing. He loves to talk to the staff.
Usually, dad thinks he works there. He talks to many of the residents (as an employee would) and gets very anxious when residents are upset (asking to go home etc.) and he can’t calm them down. (again, he thinks he works there so he tries to help - usually deferring to me by phone haha).
There is a resident across the hall from his room who is much younger than most of the residents. I don’t think has dementia, but he’s completely immobile (maybe from a stroke). This man spends most of his days in bed (and since he is completely and totally dependent on the staff), he yells out constantly for a nurse, an aide, or just plain help. This goes on every day throughout the day. Sadly, I hear it whenever I talk to dad on the phone and whenever I visit in his room (which is usually have to remain due to guidelines). It’s constant and it drives my dad crazy.
I've brought this up to the aides when I’m there, as well as the asst administrator, and the asst nursing director. Everyone says that this is what this resident does, but it’s upsetting to my father (which is very upsetting to me). I visit dad at least 4 times a week, and unfortunately, I RARELY see anyone helping this poor resident - hence the constant yelling. (I think it’s become the boy that cried wolf). It disrupts my visits with dad as well as my phone calls with him (and frankly gives me such an uneasy feeling about the facility.) A few weeks ago, I actually went into this mans room to try and see what he wanted - and was reprimanded a few days later. (Apparently someone saw me go in, but chose not to go in themselves).
I want to talk to administration again because something has to change. If they tell me that the only option is to move my dad, I don’t know what to do. Honestly if I had to move my dad, I’d love to try assisted living (which is in the same facility). I’ve broached AL before, but they’ve always told me that their concern is that dad may wander “out” of AL and that would be a problem. AL is quite a bit less $ than what dad is paying now, even if he’s at the highest level of care. I’m wondering if they are reluctant to help me find a solution because they would be losing his almost 15k/month for LTC. Ugh I just don’t know what to do. Is there a way to make AL work if dad has confusion from time to time?