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I'm seeking advice whether to encourage separation and living in different spaces? My dad's health is declining, he has anxiety and will not take medications prescribed. He drives the family crazy bossing people around and won't take initiative to do things himself. My mom contributes to the issues by degrading his confidence and continual worrying about falling down. Help... :(

So is your mom afraid your dad is going to fall or herself? Have you had them assessed for possible physical therapy which would help with balance and strength?

Have they always argued?
in my experience if they have always argued it doesn’t really matter about what.
They are just going to argue.

you could try separating them but they probably are mutually codependent and will want to be together.

Is mom on antianxiety meds? It may work to treat her.

Do they both have dementia? Have they been tested?

Perhaps there is an adult daycare nearby that one could attend.

Contact your Area Agency on Aging for a needs assessment.

They can also let you know of services that might be of benefit.

if this is new behavior check for a UTI.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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I think Dad may need an AL. Can this be done? There have been posts where one person stays in the IL and the other to AL. This is where they are in the same complex. The one in the IL is able to visit the one in an AL.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I can relate. It's concerning. That's for sure.
This is what I've been thinking about. Are either one of them incompetent? If they are both still competent, then, it's really up to them where they live and if they wish to stay together. Also, a separation could have legal consequences that they may not anticipate. So, if they separated, each would need to see their own attorney to figure out what their rights and responsibilities are. Could separating impact their eligibility for benefits? Are they now in IL?
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Reply to Sunnygirl1
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Can you give more information please. Is your mom burning out? Has your dad been sick for a very long time? Please fill in more details. Thanks.

Hard to see them bickering constantly.
Stressful situation. Hope things become resolved soon.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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