I was going to go for guardianship until we saw the cost. There would be no money left for their care, so I backed off. I was trying to save my parents money from my sister and her husband who have many times borrowed from mom and dad. many times, I have been called by family members about the state of my parents house. When I tried to do something, mom got angry and kicked me out. The sister who borrows lives in town and she said I should accept mom and dad where they are. I know if they were of sound mind they would tell me not to let this decline happen to them. I try to live up to what they wanted me to do when they asked me to become their POA. I believe my mom's paranoia and my sister's prompting brought on the revocation. I have surrendered and let go and let god, but now I am receiving nasty letters from my mother. my out of town sister is now siding with the in town sister which is a 180 degree turn and my brother is not talking to me. i get that no one wants to hear or see the truth but i was trying to follow the experts advice and get things in place as the disease progresses. because of this, i am now a pariah. what do you do when others think you are overreacting or handling things incorrectly? i felt like i was not only fighting the disease but i was also fighting family members who are in denial. i feel hopeless! i guess i shouldn't worry anymore as i am out of the picture.

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Hi bambi- I just realized you asked the question 5 months ago.

So sorry that your mother misunderstood you and sided with the sister who has been taking advantage of her. 

Hope you have found peace. 
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I agree with Diana. It's sad that the ones that "do" get all the crap. The one closest to Parents should have the POAs. A crisis will arise where one or both your parents will not be able to live alone. At that time siblings will have to care for them because Medicaid will not pay for their care because of the "loans" given that could have been used for their care. At that time, please don't volunteer to take one or both into ur home. Without POA you will be under the discretion under the POA. Meaning they will be giving you money when they feel you need it. Medical wise u will be there but with no authority. If siblings feel they know what is going on, let them handle it. You just bide your time. Also, your parents are at fault here too. It will come to a head and all will see you were right but don't expect them to apologize.
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The average person somehow believes that if they deny an unpleasant truth, it will go away.

Then, also, they hope against hope that there will be money left for them when your parents die so when you spend ON YOUR PARENTS WELFARE they tell you you’re overreacting and overspending.

Finally, NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED. This is the motto of my life. I’ve always wanted to help but I’ve broken myself of that quant idea.
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If no one wants to hear or see the truth you have 2 options:

1.) Keep trying to convince your family that your parents need more care.


2.) Recognize that you've done all that you can do and continue to let it go everyday. Get up in the morning and let it go. As you think about it during the day let it go. When you feel hurt and resentful let it go.

I know it's hurtful to be on the outs with your family and siblings. The main caregiver often becomes a pariah in family situations. Since your family thinks you are overreacting and handling things incorrectly step aside and let someone else take over. Be gracious about it and be grateful that you're not in that position anymore.
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