Parents married over 50yr. He was gone months at a time, while she raised 6 kids. He provided and she tolerated much. Long story put short, she lives at one end of the house and he at the other, and they share the kitchen, sometime it works more often it does not.
He has had multiple strokes and somethings going on with her brain, she has pushed everyone away and is mean, very mean.
He has veterans benefits and could get a caregiver to clean for him, but after a week or two they don't come back, she chases them away. We have tried to enroll him (3x's) to enter a retirement home but when his name comes up he backs out and chooses to stay.
She has collected about 50 cats over the years, they are well feed and provided for by her, only a few live in house. But the place stinks to high ends both inside and out. My father can not make it to the bathroom often in time, so that's everywhere and animal piles made by a small dog that can not see or hear any longer. So feces everywhere!
Keep in mind, if we take her animals she wont talk to us again.
Please, what do we do for them and how?
Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.
Good luck. Because the other answer is to leave things as they are. Again, you cannot change this. That's not within your power, control or expertise. Not everything can be fixed. Most of us die as we have lived. Unless dementia takes over and the state takes over from there.
You and your siblings should NOT be propping up your parents in this very unhealthy and unsafe environment they call home.
Call Adult Protective Services ASAP and report the very unhealthy living conditions that your parents and the 50 cats are living in. They will come out and do an assessment and things will proceed from there. And guaranteed the majority of the cats will be gone if not all.
Your parents are mentally ill to have allowed this to go on and they need help. So please call APS tomorrow and get the ball rolling.
You and your siblings should all back away from helping and then report them to APS. Don't clean up that house. Don't give them any money to support the cat (or any other) expense. You are not morally or ethically obligated to exhaust yourselves -- stop lighting yourselves on fire in order to keep them warm.
Their county's social services has options and solutions. Please contact them.
As far as the housekeeping goes, would you work for them? Of course, everyone is going to quit.
Quite frankly, I am surprised that no one has reported them to APS and reported the cats to the animal control department.
It’s really disturbing to read a story like yours. I am terribly sorry that you are witnessing such a heartbreaking situation.
Why don’t you call APS and see if they can do anything about this issue?
I agree to back away. Sometimes there's just nothing that can be done.
You need to report them to adult protective services for an evaluation.
Then see if that kicks off help for your parents from another agency. Stand back, don’t participate, and don’t share what you did with anyone else, even family. You don’t need the hassle.
Best of luck.
Competent in the eyes of the law, not medically.
I was told that people can live anyway they choose, even in filth and squalor, as long as they have running water and food, it's up to them.
I would not try to clean up the mess as this seems like a good case for APS to get involved. Is she a hoarder? This is a mental disorder and she would need to be in a place where she could be supervised at all times. Usually a nursing home or assisted living can give her a one bedroom place with a bathroom and they can keep an eye on living conditions so they cannot hoard. Your father would do best in a retirement home so his basic needs can be met daily. If he cannot make it to the toilet he could use a bedside toilet or wear adult diapers, but it is a lose-lose situation for all if something is not done.